what? you're gay?

ok hey i'm gay

okay hi diary i'm proper gay and like okay yeah i like like albus potter my best friend and ugh
bro idk what to do like no one knows not even my dad and rose and what. its just every time i see him, especially after his third year growth spurt, i just get this random urge to hug him and do something more if you get what i mean.

and like idk what to do and how i'm gonna act around sexy sexy fifth year albus potter after the summer break. i don't wanna out myself wtf. he's my best friend after all like even if he doesn't like me the way i like him, i won't mind. well i would still want to talk to him.

idk if i should text rose and just tell her 'yo i have a massive fucking crush on your cousin albus and i'm proper gay'. 
idk if rose would react well to that or would she just be like 'o ok then lets get you two together'. rose just is so bloody unpredictable and thats what i love about her like i wouldn't be able to live without her telling me i haven't studied hard enough for that useless potions exam that'll only count for my whole end of year grade, its not even a big deal, ugh rose. she's my literal bestie 

truth is, i've never really liked any human who's got boobs and a vagina, ok maybe that famous muggle called billie eilish but she's an expection fgs. 

peace out diary

ok hi diary again it is i scorpius malfoy. i'm currentlly crying on the hogwarts express over something fucking stupid. great way to start the year !! no but srsly i saw albus potty locking lips with polly fucking chapman, rose's "bitch" and idk why i'm so sad like. 

i have a feeling that rose got the two together and why am i so surprised ffs why do i get my hopes so high. 

the thing is
this time
is different. 
ok let me explain, so usually when your crush doesnt like you that way, you feel a bit sad but you look back and realise that hey, they were friendzoning you the entire time. but, al, isn't like that.  he leads you on and breaks your heart and mends it with a kiss. 

but, idk. i highly doubt he's gonna kiss me. 

so now i'm crying into rose's shoulder over a straight 15 year old boy i was never gonna get. its so quiet in this compartment expect for my fucking ugly gasps of tears. tbh rose is probably just sick of me and like so done with this  boy who is an emotional wreck like 100 percent of the time. ugh rose is my actual bestie. 

i just really like albus
and i just want him to be mine
i want to hold him in my arms
i want to kiss him and feel that
warm comforting feeling
i want stare into his eyes
i want to be his