You wish you could end everything? No, why would you end something that you spent so much suffering with. This is 'you' asking for attention? Why the hell not, everyone craves for attention. You are a bad type of friend? Don't judge yourself in a bad way, people's opinion about you is different. Do you have to live to their expectations? No, unless they're an important person to you then you don't have the responsibility to live up to their expectations, you told yourself that you're not their savior, if you can't live to their expectations just fuck it, you tried your best.
I don't know what happened to you, I don't know what you've been going through, I don't even understand you fully. But I just want you to know that, there's someone out there who want to understand you fully, your pain and your problems.
If I'm being honest, from the day we talked and you told me something when I'm lost in my depression back in the day, it saved me, you were a huge comfort to me, so I got addicted to that feeling, feeling of comfort. So I texted you on any chances that I got. And sometimes you don't respond that fast, I tried to understand that it's not my right to get your attention as fast as it can be, and I even came up with an uninteresting and nonsense topic just to talk with you, because for me, you are an interesting person. You care so much yet you didn't receive the right amount of caring compared all the care you gave to another, and you're staying locked this up to this moment.
Not everyone thinks of you the way you think of yourself, if you think that you did the best then there's nothing else to worry about, it's just gonna hold you back from moving forward, you got a bright future ahead, and you have many things to be done too, so why even bother adding up the problems by giving this problems a thought. I think I've said enough, I'm sorry if this does no help or even worsen your mood, cheer up ok?
