Didn't realize my sheets smell
Like blood and vomit
Until I showered for the first time in a month
I washed my hair which is growing out
I cleaned under my fingernails without using a knife
And in this interim of acid orange
I feel the inside walls of my head for the familiar cavity it is
And I doubt the foreign natures that abduct me and my nausea
Their 5 mg oval heads dance on my eardrums and make a sickening beat
I still want to bang my head against the wall
And tear me open and crush things in my hands
I've convinced myself the shell I live in is so many different things
And my head is crying for it
But it's just past midnight and Zyprexa says I need to sleep
YOU ARE READING
In Which
שיריםA collection of poems about my experiences battling bipolar disorder, OCD, and addiction.
