S C H M I C O || A collection of short stories

What Comes and Goes

Levi nods slowly as he listens to Nico, chewing on his bottom lip as he prepares himself for what is to come. He sits himself up in the seat, just a little, inhaling deeply. 

"I'm here to listen and offer what advice I can. After you're done, we need to talk." Levi has a sternness about his tone as he speaks. The words taste bitter and Levi hates the feeling, though he knows it needs to happen. Nico hums in agreement, his fingers tapping against the table, an anxious habit he has picked up.

"I need to start this off with saying that I am sorry for what I said to you. It was wrong of me to do so. I have no excuse for what I did. I was hurting, but that gave me no excuse to hurt you, too," He stops, sucks in a sharp breath, composes himself. This isn't easy for him to admit. "I don't fail. I never have. I always saw it as something which could ruin me forever. Even when I was a kid, failure was not an option."

A surge of relief washes over Levi, as Nico was finally beginning to open up to him, though it must be difficult, as he can see how much Nico is struggling to keep it together. This was a side of Nico that Levi was yet to discover, and it sure as hell wasn't going to pretty, nor would it be easy.

The room falls into silence as Nico racks his brain for what he could say next. Levi doesn't rush him, doesn't prompt him to speak on. He lets Nico set his own pace. This wasn't about him. Nico continues to tap his fingers against the table, his foot now tapping against the ground also, breaking the silence. Levi shifts uncomfortably in his seat, finding it difficult to see Nico like this. So, he reaches out his hand, placing it over Nico's.

The simple gesture seems to be enough to let Nico know that it was okay, that he could take all day if he needs it. For what seems like the first time in years, a grin tugs at the corner of his lips. Levi squeezes Nico's hand, giving him that reassurance he so desperately needs. 

"Failure wasn't an option," He reiterates, almost a broken whisper. Levi frowns, his thumb brushing over the back of Nico's hand absent-mindedly. Whether it was to comfort him or Nico, he couldn't quite tell. "So, when I messed up and... killed, Josh, it just brought me back. Then hearing two of the best surgeons at this hospital reprimand me for it- I felt humiliated. I wanted nothing more than to run and hide."

"Oh, Nico," Levi murmurs, finally getting an understanding as to why Nico reacted the way he did. It was all starting to make a bit more sense. 

Nico huffs out a sad chuckle, shaking his head as he rubs his free hand over his face. He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. This was not how today was supposed to go for him. He clears his throat, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck. 

"I didn't want you to see me like that. I didn't want you to see me as a failure. I could have just said that I need some time alone but instead, I snapped. I called you a failure- I called you a failure, which isn't the least bit true. I was just projecting how I felt onto you," Nico looks up at Levi, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. It broke Levi's heart to see him so stressed over this, over something that can be so easily fixed. "Then I said those other things-"

"Nico, I understand." Levi scoots his chair closer to Nico, taking hold of his other hand, holding them both firmly as he looks Nico dead in the eye. 

Nico says nothing in response, just nods his head little and frantic. He bites down on his bottom lip, trying his absolute best to keep it together. Levi feels his hands shaking as he holds them, so again, he gives them a reassuring squeeze. It felt as if a weight was resting on his chest, keeping him from being able to breathe properly. 

"What you went through was awful and it will probably never get any easier. You made a mistake, which ended up taking the life of a young man. It was a mistake, Nico. You're human, you will make mistakes. "