Suck It, Right?

8. D O N ' T • G E T • M E • W R O N G

For the past three chapters
I have written with the thought
Of one deeply hurt human being
Stuck in my head and in my life

And if in twenty years
He has a daughter with
A wonderful wife
And his daughter discovers Wattpad

And somehow finds my story
And he goes through her phone
And finds it
And remembers me

And opens up this book
And starts to read
And fuzzy pieces come back to him
Then I want him to know:

This is my view,
My subjective feelings
You are not at fault
Neither am I

There's a reason you're closed off
A reason you distance yourself
A reason you dont get attached
A reason that you cannot be what I need

You have been through real shit
And you are still breathing
You and I both have to
Drug ourselves to survive

You have deep emotional scarring
And relationships are the
Farthest thing from your mind
And your demons
Hide everywhere

You have been through pain
You have to do things
You have to act like it's all okay
You have people you need to care for

And I know that
And I get that

You will probably tell me that
You did/do care about me
That you're always here for me
That you love me even

People that love you don't
Ignore you
Or lie to you
Or dismiss you so easily

And I know you didn't know
Exactly what kind of damage you caused
But that's okay
Because I care enough about you
For you to get better first

You were a different scene
One that made me realize important
Aspects of everything
Like how to be loved

I wish one day
That you freaking open up
You love this new girl with all your heart
You never stop showing her how much you love her

Knowing isn't enough in this world
Make her feel your love
Every single day
And she will never doubt it

And with you I have no regrets
Except for the feelings

There shouldn't have been any feelings.