Whats the point anymore. Life is plain and dark. Sure there is moments of absolute awe struck moments. But what is the point when all that just comes crashing down. When its always your fault and nothing you do is right. Why does it matter, because when im gone nothing changes. Nothing is out there for me. Life is boring and dull distracting others with stupid unimportant daily releases. I envy that, the fact that others have things to do places to be people to meet. A picture is beautiful when viewed from afar but the surrounds are cold and isolating. I envy those who live in the picture too blissful and ignorant to realise the reality of it all. Maybe its my cowardice to take the final steps to tighten the rope i don't know anymore. So many suffer you can see it in their eyes. Are we all cowards or do they know something i don't? Nothing i do will be good enough, time does not stop it will continue on with or without you. I will be forgotten my only mark being that of a chiselled stone. Maybe death will be a warm embrace of coldness leading to distance lands of new. Wouldn't it be nice to start anew in some mythical land to walk free of burden and expectations.
I know im not alone but in this abyss of cold dark, it's hard to find others when you don't have a lamp to guide you.
This isn't a cry for help merely a statement of regrets and tiredness.
Maybe hopefully i don't wake up and slumber for eternity, maybe just maybe i may find my place amongst the darkness of the stars.
