You Don't Know You're Beautiful

Welcome to Hell

         

Today is the first day of ninth grade and I haven’t been to sleep yet. I am just way too excited to be starting high school this year. O-M-G! High school! The more I say it, the more unreal it feels. Okay, so you’re probably thinking “What is wrong with this person?” or maybe, “Who is this?”. Well let me start from the beginning. Hello people, my name is Jax Juarez. And yes, I am a girl! I grew up in a rugged little town called Bluetree Cove with my cool ass little brother Mason and my drugged up mom, Alaska. Now I know what you’re thinking. “Oh poor kids, their lives must be hard living with a drug addicted mother.” But no, that’s where you’re wrong. We love our mom more than anything in the world, we just know her enough to know that she will never change. Besides, my mom may be an addict, but Alaska makes sure her children are safe, fed, clothed, and well rested by the end of the day. That’s why Mase and I promised to always take care of her until the day she dies from that poison she calls her “medicine”. Mason is twelve and only two years younger than I am, but that doesn’t stop me from being on his ass all the time about his grades in school. He is the coolest little brother a person could have though, and I’m glad Mom didn’t stop after me. I couldn’t imagine getting through this life without him. 

Alaska: “Jax, come down here and help your brother find some breakfast! You guys are gonna be late for school!” 

Jax: “I’m coming Ma!” 

 As I mentioned before, today is my first day of high school and the first time Mason and I haven’t been in school together in almost three years. It’s Mason i’m worried about though. I’ll be fine. 

As I apply the last bit of curling creme to my hair, I jump up out of my vanity chair, grab my school bag, and head downstairs. I tried my best to look nice for my first day at Bluetree High, but we didn’t get a chance to go school shopping this year because my dad didn’t send mom any money this month, again. 

Alaska: You look pretty my little butterfly. I remember my first day of high school. You know I was as pretty as you Jaxxy. 

Jax: Mom, you’re still pretty. Always have been. 

That made her smile. Honestly, she was. My mom was still as beautiful as she was before she got addicted. Her eyes were just a little darker, and she was thinner than she had ever been before. But her soul never changed. And her smile never faded. That’s why I loved her so much. She was so strong, even having to raise us by herself. She never gave up and never put drugs before us. 

Mason: Jax, you want to grab a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich on the way to the bus stop? I’ll pay.

Jax: Of course Mase, and don’t worry about it today, I got it. 

Mason and I were always trying to find ways to make money since my mom couldn’t work and the only financial support we had was E.B.T and the small amount of $200 a month from our dad, which we barely ever got on time. So Mason started doing yard work for our neighbors any chance he got and he was becoming very popular in the neighborhood. I was working at a local garden for two years until this summer. I got a job under the table working at my cousin’s daycare a few blocks away from my middle school. Ever since then, I’ve been saving every dime I get, taking out $10 every pay for the whole week. 

We kissed mom and headed out the door. 

Alaska: Be careful guys! And don’t forget to text me when you get to school! 

We closed the door and ran down the street to the bodega to grab breakfast. While we are ordering our food, Marci Montez walks into the store with her minions, Dreyah and Lanice. We get our food and make our way to the front to pay and Marci bumps into me walking down the aisle.