Southern Boy Charm | ✓

Chapter 6

"Well I can change," I say defensively.

"Look, the outdoors just aren't your thing, and that's ok. Some things just don't change." I don't want to spoil the mood, but I can't help but grow angry. For some reason, every male around me wants to tell me what I am or am not capable of. It's exhausting, and I don't need anyone telling me about myself.

"I have to go, we're all going out to eat tonight," he says before I can confront him about it, and a pang sounds in my chest at the news that all my friends are hanging out together. That should be me there, but instead I'm stuck on some stupid ranch.

"Are you still going to call me every day?" I ask him, the hope evident in my voice.

"Of course," he says, causing me to smile. "Talking to you is the highlight of my day, but I've got to go." All my anger about him criticizing me flies out the window as he utters those words. That's why I love him, he's so thoughtful and sweet.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." He says before hanging up on me. I flop down on my bed when an insistent knocking sounds on my door. I don't even have to ask who it is, the pounding a dead giveaway. "Wait!" I call out and wrap the towel around my body a little tighter before opening the door.

I can tell that Nick is surprised by my lack of clothes, and his eyes scan me up and down before settling back down on mine. He is his usual cold and expressionless self. "My mom is forcing me to bring you to play baseball with me and my friends, and I need you to tell her that you don't want to go."

"And why would I want to do that?" I ask, crossing my hands over my chest.

"Because I don't want you there," he says simply.

I wish that I could be surprised at his sudden rudeness, but I'm not. Of course, he wouldn't want me to hang out with him and his friends. Just like every other smile I've managed to squeak out of him, our moment at the creek meant nothing. This moody, complicated guy is nothing but an emotional yo-yo; up one minute then down the next.

"Well you don't have to worry about it, because there is no way that I would ever want to go with you."

His voice is icy. "Well then it seems that we have nothing to worry about." I roll my eyes at him.

"Is there a reason that you're so fucked up?" I mumble as he walks away from my door. He stops dead in his tracks, and I know immediately that I screwed up. His dad just dies you idiot, of course that's why. An awful feeling stirs in my gut as I realize that I just reminded him of that. As he spins on his heels and turned towards me, I can feel my apprehension growing.

"Don't ever act like you know me," he seethes, and I flinch. I've never seen him angry like this, and I don't want to ever again. I can tell that I hit a nerve, and I want nothing more than to undo it and apologize. But then I remember how he just treated me, and all my sympathy flies out the window.

"Trust me, I know you better than you think. I've met so many guys like you back home who think that being a bipolar asshole makes them cooler, when in actuality it only makes them unbearable to be around." His face goes red with anger, but I don't stop there. "So, believe me when I say that not a single bone in my body wants go anywhere with you."

"Well I know girls like you," he says, keeping his voice down so that our moms won't hear us. "They care so much about being liked by everyone that the annoy everybody, seeking some approval that they are never going to find in an attempt to make them feel a little less insecure and pathetic."

I tell myself that I'm neither of those things, but those words still hurt. Is that how he seems, annoying, pathetic, and insecure? I try not to worry about, that his opinion doesn't matter, but if he thinks that way about me, how many people in my life feel the same way but don't have the guts to tell me? I feel my eyes water, and despite how hard I try to put on a brave face, a tear rolls down my face.

"What's wrong?" he mocks me, his voice basically dripping with venom. "You can dish it but you can't take it?"

In that moment, there's so many things that I want to say to him, so many insults that I want to hurl his way, but I'm too tired and drained to do so. And frankly, I just want this conversation to end.

"Go screw yourself," I say, slamming the door in his smug face. I don't know what's wrong with him, why he gets such a kick out of hurting my feelings and ignoring me. I just want to get by this summer, nothing more, and he seems determined to make it the worst summer of my life.

I know that what I said to him first was hurtful and that I have no right to cry, but I can't help it. I'm just so frustrated with everything, and I feel homesick all at once. I just want to leave here, but I can't, I'm trapped, and that's the most frustrating part of all. I can't even avoid Nick for the summer.

He's so rude and mean, but then he has moments of being playful that make me forget all about the bad ones, but those are far and few between, and I'm starting to realize that it's not my job to extract those moments out of him. If he doesn't want to talk to me be my guest; and if he doesn't want my help, it's only his loss. I'm tired of always pushing people to be something that they don't want to be. I always do, even when they fight me. But today's the day when I finally stop and accept Nick for what he truly is: an asshole.

I plop down on my bed, my shower now forgotten, and wander into sleep, leaving my worries of the day behind me.