The Good And The Bad - Volume 1 (ABANDONED?)

Chapter 2: Luke

She began to question Callumn on whether I had been doing the excercises, he said I had, and I had been, He'd watched me do them more often than not. Then she said something I wasn't expecting, that there really wasn't much hope in me recovering. They'd never said that before. Callumn nodded sadly, they obviously thought I couldn't hear them, but it rang loudly in my ears. Callumn turned to me "Ready to go?" He asked, I nodded and he hooked my bag over his shoulder from it's position by the foot of the chair. I stood up to leave, glad to get this place behind me, I know this was supposedly for my own good, but it always seemed pointless, all the more now. 

The staircase wound down past the entrance to the pharmacy, the noise of phones ringing and a cashier opening rang loud and clear phrough the thin door only magnified throguh my ears, creating a pandemonium in my head, drowning out all noise, Callumn pushed open the door out onto the street, holding it open for me, I signed thank you as I walked out onto the street. It was like the pharmacy magnified to an unbearable volume, in the outskirts of Paris, there wasn't much traffic or noise for that matter, but to me it was still painful.

I've never been into the centre of Paris, but I feel that if I did right now I'd probably pass out, right in the middle of the street, the noise would be too much. Callumns' shoes clicked loudly against the pavement as we approached the car, it was only one of the foster home rental cars, painted a sickly shade of canary yellow glinting in the sun. I know from spending so much time with Callumn he wanted his own car so much, but a social worker doesn't pay that much.

Callumn pulled open the door to the car and slid into the drivers seat, I yanked open the back seat, the supposedly suppresed sound of the air seal being broken still making me flinch and sat down, pushing the assorted junk on the floor which was accumulated by the sixty eight children using the car on a regular basis under the passenger seat. I clicked on my seatbelt as Callumn started up the ignition.

The car spluttered into life, the noise rumbling in my ears as he pulled out of the parking space onto the busy road, cars blared around us and in the dimming light their headlights glowed like eyes in the darkness. Callumn pulled off onto the main road leading into our town and everytime a car passed by us the noise made me flinch, rumbling in my ears like an avalanche. Callumn was strangely quiet, and I knew why. God did I know. I turned my head away from the car and out side the window, reading the number plates of the speeding cars, it was a bad habit, I always seemed to remember the numbers, but nothing else, I'd tried to stop, but I'd never been able to. But now those thoughts went out the window as fast as the cars themselces as I thought about what had been said. The cars were impossibly lous but Callumn's voice rang loud and clear through the car though as he talked back to my seat.

"She says there's not mucch hance of you recovering" he tried to keep his voice level but I couldn't miss the twinge of sadness in his voice, He looked back at me as I signed that I heard. "You're not upset?" he asked, surprised, I signed back that I didn't think I could. I kept a straight face and tried not to show it, but I was screaming inside. I'd always wished there was a chance.

"I know, but these sessions hopefully helped, maybe one day, maybe not for a while, but maybe one day, they can find a way" he said smiling at me, I told him to focus on the road and he laughed as he turned to back. I smiled on the outside, but I was burning on the inside. The town wasn't far from the practice and we turned off the busy main road and into the town, the loud roar of cars not gone, but getting quieter. We drove past the rows of houses, corner shop, school and pub that made up our town, all silent but the pub which had all the lights on and music leaking through the windows and door, it must have been almost unnoticeable to everyone else, but to me it was quiet and comforting.

We turned into the only other building, the foster home. It was painted brightly and tried to look kind and happy, a large sign stood in front, painted by the children living there, in the half darkness and the complete realisation I'll never speak it was comforting. We pulled into the driveway and I got out, slamming the door behind me. I walked up to the house and knocked on the door, each bang like a gunshot in my ear. Callumn parked the car and walked over to me as Carol, the head care worker opened the door.

"You should go to bed it's getting late" she said to me smiling, I nodded and started to climb the staircase, as I walked up Callumn started to talk;

"She says theres really no hope" he said, walking into the kitchen with Carol I started walking faster, I knew I'd still be able to hear them but I wasn't thinking about that right now I practically ran up to my room shutting the door behind me, their voices were still loud, but the kid in the room next to me, Carl, was snoring loud enough to drown it mostly out. I fell backwards onto my bed, not even taking off my coat and closed my eyes, I'll never speak, I'll never speak.

I'll never speak.

I rolled over and pressed my face into my pillow, I'd always knew it, but no one had ever said it. I slipped into sleep with that thought consuming my head.

I woke up to my alarm exploding in my ears and ringing in my brain, some people can sleep through their alarms, mine is agony. I swung my legs out of bed slowly and clicked the alarm off, my whole body was aching and there was a red mark at my waist when I hadn't taken off my belt, and then slept on it. It was a school day and I had to get up early to make the hour drive to my school, none of the other kids went there and I only did because no teachers in the other schools knew sign language. I was still wearing my school uniform from yesterday when I just fell asleep, I took my coat off and hung it on my door, but other than that I just stumbled down the stairs as I was.

I walked into the kitchen to find it empty of everyone but Callumn, no one else got up this early. Callumn smiled at me as I got a bowl out of the cupboard and went to look for a spoon. I was getting milk when the phone began to ring, not a nice sound for me. Callumn basically fell over himself getting there, it'd wake everyone up and no one wants fifty angry kids at six in the morning.

I was trying to get it out of my head, the thought I'll never speak, but it was lodging itself in the back of my brain, and taking root.

Callumn was out in the hallway talking loudly into the phone, obviously forgetting about the others "What's their name?" he asked before a long pause "No your son can't come to the phone right now" I turned my head, it was a call from someones parents. "No you can't speak to him... what do you mean why?" he was starting to get angry, he lowered his voice, but I could still hear, my heart was starting to beat faster, this never happened.

It was pretty much what most of the kids dreamt  about, their parents looking for them.

"You're son is mute" and when I heard those words, I knew things wouldn't be the same.