The Guardian

Chapter Thirty-Two

"Okay", said Julianna as she lifted her backpack and slung it over her shoulder. "Lead on."

Caleigh led her out of the school and over a few streets. Fifteen minutes later, she turned into an apartment complex. Julianna typed in the address, sent it to Seth, then looked up at the building. "Oh, my God", she said.

"Are you okay?" asked Caleigh. "You just turned a little white."

"I can't stay", said Julianna, tears in her eyes. She might have said "I'll catch up to you later", but she wasn't sure. As she panicked, she thought back and compared her sudden memory to the apartment building in front of her. It was definitely the same building where her mother had been killed. The trees were a little bigger, the door paint a different colour, but the building was the same. She looked down expecting to see a pool of blood on the ground. As tears blurred her vision, Julianna turned and dashed away.

As she ran she heard Caleigh yell, "wait! What about our tutoring session?"

Julianna shook her head, too upset to say anything. Her mind floated back fourteen years and she saw her mother being murdered again, and it hit her with a force that was like it had just happened. "It's my fault", she thought frantically. "I killed her." She darted in front of a car, barely heard the tires squeal, and sprinted through the park as she ran away from the pain of her memories.

Lungs burning and unable to continue, she stopped moving, folded in upon herself, and collapsed beneath a tree. She pulled her knees up to her face and buried her head, and wrapped her arms around her knees. A kaleidoscope of memories bombarded her head and she remembered her mother, the love she had for her mother. She remembered seeing her mother knifed, seeing the blood spurt out of her body. She remembered the pain and the fear, and she remembered her guardian angel, Seth, and how he came to help her at the time and in the long days in the hospital afterwards.

A tidal wave of guilt washed over her. She knew that she deserved to die for what she had done, and a feeling of self-hatred overwhelmed her. She reached into her backpack and pulled out her Swiss Army knife, the knife she had just removed from her sock drawer that morning to ensure that Seth didn't search her room and take it from her. She opened it up and looked at her wrist. Then, shaking, she stabbed it into her body.

Deep emotional pain transferred across Seth's connection. "Jules", he breathed, and he got in his car and raced to the address where she was supposed to have been having her tutoring session. Recognizing the apartment building, he swore viciously. "Jules", he said telepathically, frantically. "Where are you?"

"I saw it, Seth. I killed my mother." Seth parked his car and ran through the park as he searched for Julianna. She wasn't giving him a location that he could find her, so he was following the strength of their link.

"No, you didn't", he said. "I was there. You didn't kill your mother."

"I did. I saw it."

Pain sliced through Seth's wrist. "Jules?" asked Seth.

"I'm sorry."

"This is not the way. Don't cut yourself."

"I'm sorry, Seth. I tried."

The pain intensified in Seth's wrist. "You didn't try. Just wait – I'll be there in a minute." Seth pumped his legs harder as he pushed himself to get to Julianna.

"I'm sorry", she said, and the pain intensified again as Seth felt Julianna press the blade into her wrist more firmly.

Seth found her under a tree, her pants getting wet from the moisture on the ground. She had passed out with the blade still in her wrist, and there was blood welling to the surface around the steel. "No", Seth whimpered, and being careful not to dislodge the blade he picked Julianna up and carried her back to his car. He put her in the passenger seat and did up her seatbelt.

As he moved away, Julianna opened pain-filled eyes. "I saw it all", she said, broken-heartedly. "I remember everything."

"It's not your fault", said Seth. He shut her door and ran over to the driver's side, turned the key and put the car into drive, and sped his way to the hospital. "What do you remember, Jules?" Frantic, he tried to keep her talking.

"I remember my mother. I killed her. And I remember you." She whimpered, and Seth drove faster as he weaved in and out of the traffic to get her to the hospital.

"You didn't kill her. The junkie killed her. Not you." He tried to speak firmly. It was difficult to reassure her when he was so panicky.

"I killed her", said Julianna. Tears coursed down her cheeks and she turned to Seth. "It was all my fault."

"How?" he asked as he concentrated on his drive. He welcomed the diversion from his overriding fear.

"She told me to run and I didn't run. She didn't protect herself because she was busy protecting me." She whimpered again, and Seth knew it was from the emotional pain rather than the physical one.

He shook his head. "That junkie would have killed your mother regardless of anything you did or didn't do."

"NO!" Julianna wailed. She fingered the knife, and Seth drew her hand away, careful not to dislodge the steel.

Seth pulled into the hospital rotunda and snatched Julianna from the car, ran into Emergency and past triage. "Get my father", he said as he passed the nurses. "And get Angela. She'll need surgery."

He placed her on the examination table in an empty cubicle, and held the knife in place. Blood was pouring down her arm, dripping onto the floor, and as the nurse walked into the cubicle, he ordered an IV line to be run. The nurse, alerted to the panic in Seth's voice, hurried to do as he had bid.

"Stay with me", he commanded Julianna.

"Just let me die", she cried as tears bathed her face. "I can't live with this."

"We'll get through this together, Jules. Just hang on." He willed the nurse to move faster in setting up the IV line, and he moved out of the way as Angela hustled into the cubicle.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Julianna remembered her mother dying and tried to kill herself." Angela stared at Seth for a second before looking down at the knife-embedded wrist.

"Prep her for surgery", she said. "I have to stitch this up."

"Seth?" said Julianna, her face white with shock, "I don't want to live."

"I know you don't, sweetheart, but I'm not willing to let you die", he said. "Stay with me. I need you."

Seth lifted Julianna and placed her on a gurney, and ran alongside her as she was whisked down to the operating room, her face bathed in tears. "Let me die", she begged Seth.

"No", said Seth. "I need you. You're the other half of me."

"I don't understand", she said as they burst into the operating room. She was transferred to the operating table and the gurney was moved out of the way.

"What he means", said Angela, "is that he's been waiting fourteen long years to be able to introduce himself to you. He's your guardian, and he will die if you die. So get ready for a fight, because he's my favorite cousin and I won't let you kill him." Angela nodded at the anesthesiologist as he entered the room. "I'm going to scrub", she said. "Seth, if you want to scrub you can assist."

"I'll stay here until Jules goes under", he said. "Then I'll scrub." The anesthesiologist checked the IV line that the nurse had put in and attached a blood pressure cuff. He placed a mask over Julianna's mouth and nose, and as Julianna fell asleep, Seth held her hand.