Bleak. Thats all I felt in this dreary excuse of a room, staring at the popcorn celing, I turn over and my strained eyes feeling as though, them too, are trapped.
In my opinion the world has more bad times than good, everything is cramped in a place full of rules and laws preventing anyone or anything to having much unsupervised freedom. Not that they haven't assisted in keeping everything in ship shape, but as cliche as it sounds you only have one life to live for yourself, not you in a reincarnated bird form, but just as a human. Taking a stand for that, by going against the jurisdiction, ended in the same way everytime,"Accidental death".
These "accidental deaths" have been going on for 67 years ever since March 20th , 1952. A man named Albert Yeslin decided he was done with this god awful government system and decided to stick up for his beliefs . Albert was as intelligent as they come, though a smart man he also had paranoid schizophrenia. He had many delusions and hallucinations in his earlier days however as he got older they happened less frequently, however, when they did happen those moments he had weren't too pretty, at all, but as Albert's protest went on more and more people joined and helped hang up posters, got him on news stations, had marches and parades, he was very determined and successful.
The Government wasn't too pleased so they decided to have a kid named Philip, to do the dirty work for them. I call him a kid because he was only 17 when they hired him, not even legal, but it's one of those things that just got swept under the rug.
Philip was naive, he had no clue what he was going to get himself into, or at least the full extent. Unfortunately he had undergo a terrible, yet, somehow unavoidable casualty in the future.
Death.
Soon after news broke out that Albert died the town was in awe, everybody knew he was a healthy man with good eating habits and physical health. A realization soon dawned on everyone, you could even call it an epiphany, an eye-opener.
The people we were supposed to trust were scumbags, from what they see so far.
Since hiding Philip or Albert's deaths since the news would come out eventually they decided to be respectful and treat them with a somber moment of silence on a news broadcasting channel however that was the biggest mistake they made.
Two deaths ruled accidental without any court hearings, interviews, or questioning just confirmed everything. Unfortunately, he just so happened to be very important and close to someone in my family.
My grandfather
He just so happened to be best friends with Albert, they were practically joint at the hip from what I've heard, so when he found out about the death, that was it for him, he ended up taking his life not too long after that.
I've been staring at this dirty, scuff covered wall for 15 minutes, a new record, I finally get up, I start my day going to the bathroom down the hall and getting in the shower quick and turn the water on. fast, cutting water comes streaming onto me, giving me a headache, however, everything I do in here is timed, I am only allowed to take two showers a week and they both have to be five minutes long or else I get to have sleep for dinner.
I hurriedly grab the sample sized bottle of shampoo I found off of the ground near a department store, and squirt it on my hands, only using a quarter saving the rest of it for next time, and start lathering my hair with the shampoo and hastily go under the water trying to clean the rest of myself with the soapy water that gets rinsed out of my hair. Afterwards, when I've successfully managed to finish my shower with a minute to spare I grab the same old brush I have been using for 3 years, luckily it hasn't broken on me, yet, but unfortunately it has gotten bent and twisted and almost given up on me however I still have hope for it... but only for it to break so I can get money from my parents to buy a new one.
When i finish brushing through my hair I grab a teal v-neck shirt, my favourite colour, and pair it with some gray sweatpants. I carefully walk down my creaky stairs, anxious that if I make one wrong move my leg is going through the floor. I make it down safely and go to find something to eat in the ghost town of a kitchen, just as I get lucky and find a granola bar to eat, most likely expired...
"STOP", my mother says.
Making me jump. causing me to send the granola bar flying. With an annoyed expression knowing that she's just going to ask something stupid, I say,
"Yes mom", in a clenched voice.
"Stop talking like that it's weird, by the way where's your dad", she questions me.
"The one question you ask is one you and I can both answer,
We're just looking at each other, using irritated and confused expressions.
"Are you going to answer the question or let me collect dust ", she puts her hands on the dirty and cracked counter that's older than me.
"He's at work like he always is", I narrow my eyebrows at her to see where she's trying to go with this conversation, but having a conversation with my mom doesn't really go too far.
"I'm asking because that menacing old bat came by asking for this month's rent ", she says calmly, as if this hasn't been happening for weeks.
"Mom we've been over this why won't yo-", my mom cuts me off and says,
"Enough of this talk about you getting a job your 15, who's going to even want to hire you " she says in a voice that screams, "I've told you no, quit being annoying about it and accept it, so zip it."
"I'm talking about a part time job"
"Absolutely not who knows what could happen you could get raped or murdered or kidnapped or taken host-", my mom goes on, and on, and on.
The same routine I follow to ignore her is simple, once she has done enough hand gestures to create a new version of sign language and has finally relaxed her face from all of the expressions it's gone through I go in for the response she expects.
"Okay, fine"
She walked away and I hear her say under her breath.
"This girl knows her Daddy's making enough money for the three of us, she's just being dramatic"
It may be dramatic to her, but when that creepy landlord comes to collect his money and doesn't get it he may come preying on me. I've seen the looks hes given me, i've heard the offers hes given to my parents, hes even gone as far to giving me some offers up front, and I've even heard him talking to different men about me in the lobby, I'm petrified of them because lord knows what they might do. They're all covered in tattoos, reak of a smell along the lines of cigarettes, liquor, cigars, and an unbelievable amount of Cologne, and all look over the age of 40.
I've been wanting to get a part time job so I can help with the payments, my dad hardly makes enough money to get basic necessities and on top of that he has to pay rent.
My dad's a hard worker, he takes plenty of hours at the office to try to put up with our family's needs, and my heart goes out to him, I've told him about my job idea and he's just given me a sad smile and told me,
"Not to worry about it princess",
but I have a feeling that worrying is the one thing I'm ever going to be good at If my parents don't let me grow up as an adult and take on responsibilities, but until then I'll just help out around the house and handout fake smiles for everyone.
