Tales Of A Sleepless Life

Fade.

        Tales Of A Sleepless Life: Fade

I want to sleep SO bad, but I can't...I wake up every hour with a different nightmare. I freeze in place, and can't talk no matter what I do. I just lay here..scared, and unable to move. I have had 5 hours of sleep in two days. I have been cleaning and writing to distract me from sleep, and now my feet are bruised. My ankle is swollen. My eyes hurt, and are heavy. I feel like passing out. I hate sleep...but I need it. I want it. I have never had such a strong craving for anything in my life. Is this supposed to mean something? Perhaps the universe is trying to tell me that if I go to sleep now I might not wake up...and now I find myself pondering that possibility. Would it be so bad? To go to sleep, and never wake up?

Thunder. Loud, and booming through the house. I can tell instantly there is going to be a bad storm. Another reason to stay awake. The small pitter patter of the rain's tiny feet slowly prancing on the roof keeps me entertained for the time being. The winds howling song seems to be singing the tune of sleepless days. It's been hours since I tried to sleep last. Should I try again? Yes. Sleep. I need sleep. My heavy eyes close for a bit. It's already starting. I can see it all now..all of my nightmares mixed into one horrifying creation. I am standing in a library now..it's dark. Empty. The books scattered around me are nameless, and blank. I pick one up, and slowly open it up, carressing the the spine of it gently so it doesn't fall apart. The blank pages greet me with a silent 'Hello'.

I stare at the book, for reasons I have not yet understood..and it begins to show ink. It begins to slowly word by word reveal a story to my eyes..the story of a girl who is broken on the inside. The story of a girl who no matter what she does is destined to fail. The story of a girl who loses all the ones she has ever loved. It's familiar. It's a story I know all too well. The story of..me.

Eyes of green dart open. A car door. Mother must be home now. Knock, Knock,Knock..That isn't mother. She would never knock. My pale limbs throw themselves out of bed, even though they scream, and protest the entire time. Reaching the door I place my hand on the cold handle, and open it. Nothing.  It's still storming..and not a single thing or even person is at the door. I check the time. I was only asleep for a total of thirty minutes. The door closes behind me seemingly with a life of it's own. "Only the wind" I tell myself as I look around at the dark scenery before me. I feel a tapping on my back, and an eerie voice says my name. I swiftly spin around. Nothing. With a silent sigh, and words that never form, I wake up. Again.

I don't move at first. I just lay here..I need to know this is real. I need to know I am not still asleep. I see the walls of my room, I see my dog at the foot of my bed looking at me as if he can see through me. He must know somehow. I am actually awake this time. The clock reads 2:16 PM. I slept only an hour.