Peaches and Susan fanfic

Chapter 2: A Match

I woke up the next morning from Freya the rat making loud squeaking noises. I was greeted with another bill on my dusty fishy floor. It was my mortgage. I fed it to Sehrish since that rat eats everything.

i went onto my iphone 3g to see that someone had messaged me on tinder. Her name was peaches. She had beautiful luscious lips, and a very circular face, it reminded me of a juicy herpes wart. her forehead was as big as my urethra after cock and ball torture and her nose was sculpted for the gods. From her home page i could tell she was over 96KG, I don't mind since I am butch. I also found out that just like me, she was  a singer.

She said hi to me and she sent a video of her singing an original song by her called "Itchy and stanky". It was the most beautiful thing i had ever heard. I still don't know why people like Beyonce and Rihanna are famous when people should be focusing on real talent like her.

I feel like me and peaches really clicked! She seemed so cool. i quickly asked if she was willing to meet up in real life, she said yes! my hairy cooch flaps opened wide in happiness. i had to close my flaps quickly, since i didn't want my rat Ella to go up there. We decided to meet up at the beach to go to the foam party (its for 8-11 year olds but when i show them my knife they instantly let me in)

I went to the shops today, I went to my favourite shop - poundland. I found out my ex-boyfriend Cleetus got a job as a cashier at poundland. I cried as i walked out the beautiful poundland. on my way out, I could see Simon Cowell walking out of the Gucci shop. I stopped him.

"Oi Simon pay me you rat" i said before putting my stinky cooch right in his face. he soon fainted.

while i was walking out, I met a fellow Boyler! her name was Lexie and she took a picture with me. after she was done, she walked off with a wet mark on her trousers. I mustve been too much for her!

I cant wait to meet peaches on sunday!