Red String

4: If

Days past by as the wars go on.

Some days were good news, some days were bad news.

Granny tried to get her mind off the deaths of soldiers by teaching me the art of medicine. There were a lot of injured soldiers, at first I was shaking as I checked them but then as time goes by, I started to get used to it. It is now a daily task for me.

There was this one time, when a spy came into my tent to make me a hostage but luckily granny has taught me the art of poison as well.

It was raining heavy, thunders struck loudly. I was resting in the camp, experimenting the poison I just created on a mouse.

Suddenly, the cries of agony echoed to everywhere. 'Granny!' I ran, ran and ran, ignoring the heavy rain and the loud thunders.

As I reached granny's camp, it was dark. The lantern weren't lit. The smell of blood spread everywhere.

I hastily took the lantern and lit it up. I slowly approached the source of the blood.

I saw her, granny... Lying in a pool of blood. Her eyes wide open. I cried, my silent tears kept on falling and I didn't even realized a certain jerk behind me with his blade covered in Granny's blood.

"This is your end, princess."

His chilling voice rang through my ears. With granny still in my arms, I didn't dare to look back and within split second, I felt a heavy weigh on my back before it flew away.

I turned and saw the renowned general with his sword, his eyes filled with anger when he saw the body in my arms.

He walked to me and took granny from my arms before whispering as he tried to stop his voice from choking.

"Clean granny's body, we will hold her funeral tomorrow."

I followed him to my camp and cleaned Granny's body.

"I wasn't a great companion but you were. You trusted me, you cared for me like me grandmother. Granny... Thank you, thank you for everything. I hope we will meet again... in our next lifetimes and I am sorry.. If I arrived earlier, If I stayed with you, If... I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

I continue to sob holding her body.

The assassin was from Chu. He was treated by me when he was in brink of death and brought to Tang Xuan when he was back to healthy.

Hours of torture didn't affect him. It was until Tang Xuan fed him poison did it worked. It was a slow killing poison. Poison that will slowly burn your body inside before your organs started to bleed inside.

I was there, beside Tang Xuan when the assassin was tortured and when the cries out for help, when he confessed and I didn't feel guilty for the poison I made. I didn't feel disgusted when I saw his blood spilling everywhere. I didn't. At all.

Coming back to my tent, I slept drowning in my tears. Yet, I could hear Granny's words.

"You've killed me! You should have came earlier! You should have saved me!"

Granny was there, far away. Her body covered with blood. She ran toward me and started to vanish to ashes. I can't do anything.

And slowly she appeared again. But it was different this time, my surrounding turned white. Granny wasn't covered in blood, she was smiling happily.

"Child... Remember, no matter who you are facing, no matter where you are, show only one emotion. Act like you don't care and silently kill you enemy."

"Medicine cures people but it kills people too. You have to learn how to use both. Kill when you are threatened and kill it to the roots. Eliminate every possible escape of your victims."

"Child... For the six months you are here, all I've ever taught you was medicine but the moment I saw you, the moment you talked to me, I've already considered you my grandchild."

"You have to keep living. Go on and cure as many people as you could and keep you loved one save."

"Granny.. I-"

"You can do this. Make me proud child, I will be watching you."

"Thank you granny."

I woke up crying and I found myself in his arms.

"You are fine now. Nothing will happen" He whispered, his hand caressing my hair.

"Thank you" I said softly, hugging him tightly and he let me be.

I slowly let go of him. His hands still buried in my hairs, his gentle eyes pierced my eyes.

"Go prepare yourself" He said handing me a white han fu.

I nodded and waited for him to get out for me to change. But he stayed with his eyes still on me with no intention to get out. I looked over and waved my hands in front of him getting him out of his dazed. It worked and he embarrassingly get out.

I walked out, looking at the lined up soldiers wearing white. Unlike thier usual domineering vibe, this was a mourning vibe, bringing me back to reality that granny is gone.

I felt my eyes burning and I found my self frozen in my place. My feet won't follow what my brain said. I turned around hearing some footsteps and he was walking toward me.

Seeing my stubborn tears, his face fell and he held my hand comforting me without words, just by his eyes.

It's funny, how granny could have thus much impact to me. We just met for a few weeks and yet it killed me when I saw her corpse being carried to the river nearby.

Her body being carried by the wooden boat. Tang Xuan gently let go of my hand, he took the fire and burn her corpse.

"Thank you granny, may we meet in our next life." And he let his eyes continued his words.