Two of Us// Larry Stylinson

Chapter 1

Louis felt his eyes brim with fresh tears. Another quiet sob escaped his chapped lips. He tried to keep it quiet, for the sake of his sister's. They just passed out on the chairs after long restless hours of crying.

All except of Lottie. She tried to take care of Ernest. The little boy was pressed against her chest unaware of the things happening around him.
Louis himself had his arms wrapped around Doris. Cuddling the little girl into his arms. Phoebe and Daisy were sleeping with their heads rested on Louis shoulders while Fizzy was trying to get comfortable cuddled against Lottie, dried tears visible on her cheeks.
The two siblings sat in silence. Eatch of them in their own thoughts.
Louis closed his eyes, head falling against the wall. All he wanted was to escape. To escape the room. The reality. He couldn't believe they were happily spending their days just last week. With nothing to worry about. At least he tried not to think about what would happen in the near future. But now they were sat in the hospital worrying about their mother, who was lying just rooms away fighting for her life.
Bright lights surrounded her children with people walking by every second. But no one spared a glance at the broken family. No one questioned why a bunch of kids were cuddled together on the hard chairs. All with tears on their cheeks.
"Lou I can't do this. It's not fair." He heard the distant voice of his sister. Her usual soft voice sounded broken.
He slowly opened his eyes to look at her. His usual blue eyes were now darker than ever not shining with energy. Just pain. "I'm not ready either. Lottie she's everything. For us, for me. It's never fair. But I can't take care of you. I'm not ready. I need her. We need her." He couldn't even recognize his own voice. "I really need her."
New tears rolled down his cheeks, but he couldn't care less. "It hurts pretending I'm okay for the others. But I can't let them down. I promised nothing is wrong." He buried his face in Doris' soft hair. "I'm their older brother. I'm supposed to be strong. I'm supposed to be okay  And here I am. Broken. Without any hope."
"No one expects you to be okay Lou. You're allowed to be broken, to be scared. Everyone is." She pressed Ernest closer to her body after he stirred in his sleep whimpering quietly. "Everything will be alright, right? Even though it might not seem like it."
He now started crying for real. His body shaking. "I don't think that." He sighed defeated. "Keep an eye on them for a bit." With that he stood up, careful not to wake anyone. He placed Doris next to Ernest on Lottie's lap, who looked up at him confused. Without saying a word he shook his head sadly and rushed to the nearest bathroom.
Before he managed to get there, he felt everything spill out of him. Every feeling he kept in him over the last couple of hours. The panic, the pain, the feeling of failing everyone.
He ran into the nearest stall locking it after him. Crying he sank down on his knees, tears now streaming down his face. His hands tangled in his hair pulling at the roots as choked sobs leave his lips. His mind went black the only feeling in his body was the pain. Pain in every part of his body. He brought his legs up to his chest holding onto them tightly hiding his face in them.
Images from his mum flashed through his head. Her smile, her face, her voice. Everything played in his head over and over again.
He felt a huge weight on his lungs. Hindering him from breathing.
The strongest woman on earth was now lying unconscious. Relaying on a small device for her life.
"You don't deserve this mum. I failed you." He choked out trying to catch some air. Salty tears dropped into his mouth.
He knew having a panic attack when everyone needed him was risky. But his body wouldn't stop. He couldn't control anything anymore.
He breath sped up to a point we're he thought he wouldn't able to survive much longer. Strange sounds came from his throat.
He failed everyone. Not only his mother, but his sister's as well.
"You alright?" Louis lifted his head. Not sure if he heard anything. "You've been crying for the last ten minutes. Are you okay?"
Louis sniffled quietly. "Leave me alone please." He croaked.
He heard shuffling from the other side of the door.
"I just wanted to check on you. Sorry."
Louis tried wiping away his tears with the sleeves of his jumper. But they wouldn't stop spilling out of his eyes.
"I'm a huge failure." He whispered before hiccuping quietly. He started whimpering again. "I failed everyone. I broke my promise. To keep them safe." The other person sighed "You want to talk about it?"
Louis shook his head whispering a quiet 'No'.
He hid his face between his legs again. "I want for it to end. For the pain to go away. To be happy again. To turn back time. But it won't go away. It isn't getting better."
The voice sighed again. "Try to relax please. Take a deep breath." Louis tried calming down. "Everything might seem like it's falling apart. But nothing is lost just yet. Don't stop believing."
Louis tried listening to the stranger. His breathing getting calmer again. He tried concentrating on his voice "I'm scared of loosing her. I don't want to let go." "You won't have to." Louis whimpered quietly. A conversation with his mum played through his head. "She was sure of it too. But now she's here. Leaving me alone." His head fell back against the wall. He clenched his eyes shut trying to stop the tears from falling down. "She always promised she'd be there for us. For me." He paused. "Leave me alone please."
He heard movements again. "If you're sure you'll be okay on your own." And then there were footsteps becoming quieter. He then heard a door open before falling shut soundly.
Louis opened his eyes again. His sight was blurred from all the tears that made his eyes burn.
He slowly calmed himself down, still hiccuping softly.

Slowly Louis walked out of the bathroom, arms wrapped tightly around his stomach clutching onto himself tightly, desperate to hold himself together.
He saw Lottie looking for him worriedly. Fizzy was now awake as well trying to occupy Ernest.
Without a word to both of them Louis fell into his chair again. Shoulders hanging low trying to hide himself.
Lottie watched him closely before whispered "You good?"
He just shook his head, face hidden in his hands, body curled into a ball.

And in that moment he felt his world falling apart. And he was sure it couldn't get any worse
Until he heard an unknown voice "Louis Tomlinson? We need to talk to you. Immediately."