The Oath

Chapter One

It was a dark, gloomy day outside. The sky was an eerie gray and the trees swayed rhythmically from side to side, accompanying the soft hum of the wind. It was a good day to bundle up and go for a stroll. There was no one home, and I hated being left alone. The last time I was home alone-for what seemed an eternity-I had a panic attack that lasted twenty minutes. My breathing was uneven and I couldn't seem to catch a single gap of air; my hands had gotten clammy; my palms were sweating and the tears just would not stop streaming down my face. It was the scariest thing-not having control over my body that way. I remember trying to get a hold of Andy, the closest friend I had nearest to home, but she didn't answer my phone calls. My sister-in-law managed to be able to drop by to check on me when she received the frantic messages I'd sent her. She looked panicked and confused upon seeing how swollen my face was, and how droopy my eyes looked. They were weary from all the hysterical crying I had done. My eyes seemed to bulge out like those of a fish, and they were bloodshot red and watery. I never wanted to experience such an immense feeling of solitude again, and I decided being home watching t.v. on the couch wasn't exactly the best idea if I was trying to avoid another episode like that.

I bundled up in three thick layers of clothes: my dark blue thermo, purple cardigan, and gray coat, topped with the newest beanie to my collection. My mom had always thought that it was a strange fetish of mine to collect beanies. She said if one did the job, why buy more? That wasn't the point. I loved the different styles, patterns, and colors they came in. And I didn't really like the feeling of my head being exposed, more so for the reason of it being target for embarrassment. Last week-the only day I decide that I would not wear a beanie-I was walking home from school and I felt something wet suddenly plop on my head. At first I figured it was a raindrop or something, but when I felt the small damp pool of liquid and brought my finger to my face to check it out, I jerked at the bird waste that had quietly chosen me to land on. From then on, I no longer left the house without a beanie.

I'm glad the coffee house was a good three miles east down the road. It gave me time to look around at the scenery and appreciate the beauty of it all. Even though today wasn't the ideal day to be out, I embraced the weather. I found a long loose tree limb that looked like a walking stick and I poked around with it. I closed my eyes then, pretending to be blind. I didn't do it as a joke, but rather as my own personal therapeutic refreshment. It was a way to see the world without seeing it. The mystery of how a person without sight could possibly imagine what they're surrounded by was always a trigger in understanding the truth of someone's soul. If they couldn't see, how could they possibly see? I was lost in my crooked train of thought when I bumped into something and fell.

Great, I thought. You just had to close your eyes didn't you?

Whether someone was watching or not, I always managed to make a fool out of myself.

"Here, let me help you up. Can you see alright?"

That was a shot of sarcasm I did not find funny. I tried to force a smile but I was already annoyed. My short temper was all thanks to my dad, who apparently had never received or witnessed affection when he was younger and now he pretended to have a cold heart, even though I knew he was a softie.

I looked up to a hand reaching out to me and grabbed on to it unwillingly.

"Ugh, I liked these jeans!"

I patted the dirt and leaves off my pant leg and checked my rear to see if I had marked the embarrassing fall there as well.

"I'm sure you can just buy a new pair, it's no big deal-they're just jeans."

The deep voice was beginning to irritate me and he had only spoken twice. I rolled my eyes and prepared myself for an acceptable "thank you". I froze as I focused on the face that was so calmly observing me. He was gorgeous! His caramel-colored skin matched his pale green eyes, and his eyelashes looked as if he had taken his time to curl them. I noticed I was staring because he was staring back questioningly. I regained composure and laughed nervously.