The Oath

Preface

PREFACE

My heart was pumping quickly, thudding against my chest, and an emotion rose in me that I hadn't felt in a long time and it hurt now more than I could remember. If I had known that a love so painfully bearable existed, I wouldn't have allowed myself to lunge forward incredulously with infatuation. I didn't want to believe this was real, but it was more real than I would have ever imagined. I was sick in the head from thinking too far back in time and there was no hope for a cure. I grew weary of forcing myself to block out the pain that infected my heart, and I could sense it darkening with sorrow, bleeding away my love to stop the pain. Whatever it was that he took from me, I couldn't ever get it back. A part of me had died with him. He was my everything and my life. No matter how hard I tried to extinguish the memories, they haunted me day and night, disturbing my existence with agonizing flashes of his boyish face; the tender hands that once held me close with warmth that filled my body; the serene eyes that feverishly searched mine. There wasn't a day that we wouldn't spend together at the beach, basking in the sun, letting the rays of heat bounce against our bodies and float off into the wind. We would lay in the sand and talk about our past, present, and future. We'd throw sand at each other and then take turns burying each other 'till we were covered in sand up to our thighs, only to free ourselves and run after each other into the water. The days seemed endless with him, and I never wanted to leave his side. Everything, absolutely everything about him astounded me. The way his lips curved into a wry smile, or the way he always arched his back after being in one position for too long. His enormous, brown, honey-suckle colored eyes were as sweet as the words he whispered. And I would forevermore remember his gentle touch. He held me as if every second was our last, every moment our best, and I lived for every single one of those moments. I vowed that I would not fall in love with anyone else. I had given myself to him.