It starts with a thought a single simple thought. A dark cloud above my head surrounding and eating me alive;
Repeating scenes from the past flashing right in front of me and haunting me through day and night;
It blurs my vision of the present and overshadows my longing for the future, but still i try to hold on to the thin bright hope inside of me;
I try to run, escape from the monster inside of me but a part of me wants to embrace the creature who knows me best;
I breathe hard, exhale and inhale but nothing could help except this silver pen: It takes away the pain I have as it draws a picture of what I feel using my body as a canvas itself;
I look at the ground and i see red as a pool of blood surrounds me below my feet, tears running down my doe brown eyes but deep inside I only feel is this emptiness;
Why oh why cant I fight this? The being that is caged inside of me. I do not know nor care if I am him or she is me but I decide to take the step to face it once and for all;
I see it through the mirror and i recall that it is me. I dare not blame anyone for the coldness in my brown orbs but still I know that beyond this creature is the person I once was;
I smile after all of this, a bitter curve on my plush lips. I may not be the girl i was, i now know and I accept that right now Im broken up but I will try to do my best to heal for my love ones and the monster that I thought I am.
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This poem is inspired by the experiences ive been through and going through. My anxiety and depression and the PTSD i have.
