Go

1

She said it. She just had to say it. It triggers me. She knows that but she decided to say it anyway. So I got triggered. Badly. She just had to say it at the wrong moment. I tore off. I had to. It's what I do. My mum took me to the doctor's about it once but they just talked about reflexes and things.

I'm not smart. I really don't understand these things. It's not like I have quick reflexes and stuff it's just that one word. Maybe it scares me? Maybe I have to run away from it? I don't know but everyone someone says it, whispers it, shouts it, I run.

'Go, go, go,' she whispered. 'Go, go, go.' I ran. I ran and ran and ran. Why does it trigger me? Why me? Anyway, I ran and kept running. The next part happened fast. I don't quite remember how. My friends called me, I turned, it all turned black. I don't know how long I was out, or how I went out but now it's evening. I definitely wasn't this dark before.

I'm at the hospital. Why am I here? Well it's serious. No one telling me why I'm there or how it happened. They aren't telling me anything. All I know is my mum and Stacey are here and 'Everything is going to be fine' and I should 'try to relax'. Helpful. How can I when I don't know what the hell they've done to me or what the hell they're doing?

I try and ask my mum and Stacey about it but my mum just says 'lie down. Have some rest.' Stacey keeps on saying she's sorry and she didn't mean to let it happen. She looks worried. I think she might cry. Obvious mum can tell and tells her to go and sit down. Stacey obeys.

'Mum I'm confused. What happened?'
'Abi just lie down and try to relax. Everything is fine.'
Uhh. She said it again. Why does everyone say that is hospitals? Who made it special hospital language?

Well, I try to relax and I find myself falling asleep. Just before I nod off my mum wakes me up and says I shouldn't do that.
'Why not? You said it yourself. I should relax. Sleeping is relaxing,' I retort.
'Well...'
'Mum just tell me for god's sake!'
'Well the doctors think you might have a concussion.'
'A what?'
'Basically if you fall asleep then it's very dangerous. Come on a 15 year old girl should know this!'
'Mum. I am stupid. I do not know anything.' I spell out to her.
'Don't beat yourself up! You know some things!' I roll my eyes. Mum's are always too over encouraging.
'Some is the the wrong word. A little amount is better.'

Just then, the nurse comes back and asks me how im doing.
I reply 'I would be a lot better if I knew what was going on.'
She mumbles something to my mum.
'Umm... I need a bit my time.' More muttering.
'Yes I did. I'm not totally useless, you know?'
The nurse then says 'I'll leave you to talk.' Almost like she blocked out all the retorts.