Play Date

2 Oops.

"It was." Not helping.

"Not on national television," Laura bellows then turns to Jerry. "How could you?"

"I was in the moment," Jerry explains, "And maybe a little tipsy." He has yet to remove himself from Paige's vagina.

"'One Scotch, maybe two, I promise,'" Laura quotes Jerry. "Look at you. You're so trashed you can barely stand." She zips her gown with a vengeance.

"Laura..." Jerry starts.

"Don't 'Laura' me. I was fine with all this, as long as it stayed between the four of us. But now I've got to explain to everyone, including my parents, why my husband is fondling another woman in front of the entire world and me! You've got fifteen seconds to get out of her, into your clothes, and out that door." Jerry doesn't move a muscle. Paige tries to nudge him along.

"Maybe you should..." Paige tells him. He realizes the position they are in and slides away from her.

"I should," he says. Laura is halfway out the door. Jerry stumbles into his pants and trails her. The door slams on his exit. Riley rises to his feet. Paige gets close to him. They take a deep breath, alone for the first time all day.

"What a day," Riley understates.

"I'm glad they're gone," Paige says.

"Me, too. The whole time, I was wishing it was just you and me."

Paige faces Riley. Her eyes go all lovey-dovey. Riley pulls her into a deep, passionate kiss. Paige moans and pulls away.

"What's wrong?" Riley asks. Paige sniffs Riley's face and licks her lips. He's got Laura all over him. She licks his lips this time. Her breath halts. Just as suddenly as she pulled away from Riley, she now pulls him into her, locking him into an even deeper kiss. Riley pushes her down to the couch and climbs atop her.

"Ow!" Paige exclaims, pulling the television remote from under her backside. She tosses it across the room. It lands on its 'Play' button and the Emmy broadcast starts back up. On screen, Paige and Riley make their way to the stage along with Lindsey Green and accept their statues from Neil Patrick Harris.

In the living room, Paige and Riley make love to the soundtrack of Riley's acceptance speech. When his speech gets to the part where he thanks Lindsey, Paige stops the sex.

"Hold on," she tells Riley. On the show, Riley finishes his thank you. Paige takes a step toward the microphone, but Lindsey charges forward, cutting Paige off.

"That little bitch," Paige says. Riley has seen enough. He resumes the sex. Paige closes her eyes and enjoys it.

"I'd like to thank all my fans," Lindsey says on the television. "Go, Green Beans!" The pace picks up between Riley and Paige, but nothing can stop Lindsey's speech. "Thanks to everyone at KidTime, my super fantastic agent, our amazing creative team, Riley, and gosh, anyone else I'm forgetting."

Paige explodes into a loud orgasm. On the television, she steps up to the microphone and opens her mouth, its shape an exact match to the vowel in her orgasm. But before she can speak, the orchestra plays her off. Lindsey remains in the shot, her face sparkling.

THE FOLLOWING MORNING

Lindsey's face towers thirty feet tall on the side of the KidTime studios on Sunset Boulevard in a poster for the Casey Fields Mysteries. Workers apply a banner to the poster that reads, "Emmy Award Winner."

"It's MY face on the side of the building!" Lindsey throws a tantrum in Riley's direction on the Casey Fields set. Paige stays out of the fray, dividing her attention between a script on a laptop and the news on a tablet. Riley just wants to get this last scene in the can and put the series to rest.

"I've played Casey for six seasons," Lindsey says on Monday. "I think I know what she would or wouldn't say by now." Paige joins the conversation.

"I might have a little more insight," she says, "being that I created the character."

"I could care less what you created," Lindsey snaps.

"Couldn't care less," Paige corrects her. The repair of Lindsey's grammar misses its mark.

"Fine," she says. "We're even. Write whatever you want. I'm going to say what I want." Riley steps in.

"Lindsey, give us a few minutes to come up with something, okay?" That calms her.

"I'll be in my trailer," she says, her back already turned and feet in motion. When she's out of earshot, Paige turns to Riley.

"Is it just me, or does she get more twatty with each passing year?"

"I'll talk to her," Riley says, but Paige is not happy.

"Don't do this to me again."

"Do what?"

"You make me be the bad mommy, while you bounce around like the fun dad who only has the kids every other weekend. We're supposed to be a team." Something on her tablet makes her gasp.

"What?" Riley asks.

"We're trending."

"Who's trending?"

"Jerry's hand and my famous booty," she says. "Oh, my god - we made TMZ." She positions the tablet for Riley to see. On screen, a TMZ report unfolds.

"And in a surprise even bigger than the kiddie show winning an Emmy," the reporter says, "as KidTime VP Jerry Simon groping the show's co-creator, Paige Welphelt. Well-felt, indeed."

"That's pretty funny," Riley says. Paige shushes him as the reporter continues.

"In a statement released this morning, KidTime accepted Simon's resignation, stating the VP's conduct was not in line with the channel's family-friendly image. Simon will enter rehab for addictions to alcohol, drugs, and sex, citing an ongoing affair with Paige Welphelt, whose lip slip has gone viral."

"What lip slip?" Paige wonders aloud. The report cuts to the last interview they did with E!

"So what's next for you two?" the reporter asks. Paige goes to whisper in Riley's ear, but a microphone somewhere picked up her voice.

"No more fucking kids, that's for sure," is what Paige said to make Riley laugh. TMZ bleeped out the offending syllable.

The TMZ reporter comes back, "Apparently, she didn't realize she was on a hot mic." Paige is aghast.

"Oh, fuck. What are we going to do?" she asks Riley.

"We're award-winning producers," Riley assures her. "We're going to put Casey Fields to bed and seize every opportunity that's coming our way."

An administrative assistant ducks his head into the stage. "Guys," he calls to Paige and Riley, "They need to see you upstairs."