Dearest sister,
Recently on TCW, the little personal story I shared with you a few days ago, somehow eventually became a conversation about the topic of self-worth.
My dearest sister, I'd like to start my book that is dedicated only to you, the one whom I'm so lucky and proud to call, my big sister and best friend, with some words.
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I want you to know my sister, that you're so so precious. You may not see it but you're so different than so many people in the world. That you're so special. In so many ways. I said this once and I will say it again. You're not like them. You're not like all the others. You shine in your own beautiful unique way.
My sister, this world is a much better place with you there. Even if you don't believe it and even if no one else believes it, I know I always will. You may never know how many lives you've touched or how many people include you in their prayers. You may never know just how much Allah loves you. And maybe one of the biggest proofs is the continuous amount of tests Allah is testing you with. The trials and challenges that maybe even I, don't know the amount of. Allah wants to keep on elevating your level in Jannah. Knows how much you're capable of, while even you, may not. Knows just how strong you are..
Deep within your soul my sister, lies a fire raging inside. A fire so powerful that it could either make you achieve and gain so much in this world and the next or simply, destroy you. Can make you fall in an endless pit of self-hate and self-doubt. Can control your mind..can drive you away from sanity.
As dangerous as it could be, this fire my dearest sister could be one of life's greatest blessings. Can be used in your power for you, and for those you love, rather than against you. Can be used to provide you with extraordinary determination and willpower. Extraordinary strength and patience. Love. Passion..
Unlike so many others, you my sister, always dedicate so much to whatever it is that you do.
Whether it was school, or a project or especially when someone gave you a task, whether it's a friendship or with those who are special to you.
You know this is true and trust me, not everyone is like that..
My sister, nothing that happened or that was said to you or about you in the past defines your worth. That's not something for others to define.
Please don't let this fire inside of you, that you may even be oblivious to, feed on the thoughts and memories of the past.
Maybe you always thought of yourself as someone who's unworthy and undeserving, but also, maybe it's time to stop. You can't continue your life like this, the more you say this stuff to yourself the more you will believe it. And no, it's NOT the truth.
Everything about you is so precious my sister..your heart, your mind, your body.. I suddenly feel like these words just echoed back to me. Aren't you the one who said these last few words once to me too?
I wish you'd treat yourself as well as you treat those you love my sister. Because, you deserve it the most. Because, in the end you are the only one who's going to be there for yourself when you fall..
And you keep saying, that you don't deserve to be pretty. I don't understand what that means, because you already are anyway. You are pretty and beautiful in your own special and unique way. And I will always see you that way. But. I just want you to see it too.
And you say for "for whom? For what?" And I don't understand that either because have you ever thought my sister, that 'for yourself', could be one of the answers?
You're so beautiful inside and out my sister but like you also once said, self love is not easy. And it's something that many, struggle with everyday. And that's okay. But it's also not impossible. Although it will be, if we only keep feeding ourselves such lies..
My sister, maybe just like we help each other to reach Jannah together one day, we can help each other love ourselves. Because they're both connected to each other anyway. Did you know that loving yourself is actually an Ibada?
Remember this, you are a thread in the tapestry of Allah.
If that thread were to be pulled out, the tapestry would collapse, for Allah is perfect, everything He does is with wisdom.
He chose to weave you within His universe.
That alone makes you worthy
Loving yourself my sister, is loving Allah.
With love,
Your one and only Habiba
15th March, 2019
