Ethma

part 1

fuck.this.shit

' Just get up Emma, we are gonna be late!'

fuck.this.shit.

I'm rubbing my eyes but I just cant fucking get out of bed. Its so comfy.I knew I would regret staying up so late last night. I only had like three hours of sleep and Its killing me.

" Emma now! I'm serious."

"I'm coming!" Just five more minutes.Then she entered my room grabed the fucking pillow on my left and slamed it on my face. Gently but again fucking slamed me.

"Mom c'mon was that neccesery?"

" Get up, dress up, that's all I'm asking for." And then I give up on my five minutes of extra sleep, went to the bathroom, saw my face in the mirror, almost screamed. Then I was asking myself should I put any effort and do some makeup or leave it like that. I left it. Am I going to regret? Yes probably.

I finished everything and went to the car. Its funny how my mum was having hard time waking me when she is the one who is late now. I placed my camera in the car, decided to vlog today and I'm probably going to regret that too but anyway.I press the record button.

" Hey. Whatss up?Today we are just going to LA..." I was talking to the camera while putting my chapstic on.

''...for the special reason. And that special reason is that I'm moving there." Then I realised that I have helium ballons back in my car. I inhaled some of the helium and continued talking to camera. Then my mom came in the car and we finally drived off to the airport.And guess what. We were fucking late. What's new? But the worst thing is that I didn't have time to buy coffe because we were running like fucking maniacs to get this flight and now I'm even more stressed and annoyed.

I was stressed as hell actually. First I have to find the apartment but beyond that I have to live in fucking Los Angeles. I don't have any friends there, my family isn't there like how am I going to survive?I'm so fucking nervous. I checked my phone just to get distracted of my thoughts but then I saw some comments about my looks, my attitude, one thing let to another and I ended up reading more and more hate comments about me. Now I just want to scream. I tell myself everytime not to watch it or read any hate and then stupid me don't listen. I wanna say that I don't care about it and actually mean it but I can't.

'' Hey turn the phone off" My mom said and it completely gets me out of my thoughts.

Our flight was okay. We landed safetly and grabbed our luggage and went to rent a car. I started vlogging again. I really want to find an apartment but I'm just not in a mood right now. We visited a couple of places,then we went to eat,I vlogged a little more. There were bad and good apartmants but I was pretty into one. It was a loft with a bed area upstairs and living and kitchen area downstairs. Man showed us around the house and It was pretty dope. We were talking about the money and stuff and everything was perfect.

"So I guess this day isn't that bad as you were complaining" My mom said when we were in the car.

"It would be even better if I have some sleep." I rolled my eyes and we were talking a little more about the apartment and my life in LA. I love talking to my mom because she always calms me down in any possible situation. We have that mom-best friend bond and everyone is always shocked when I cuss around her. But that's just how our relationship is.

I showed our Airbnb to the vlog and then I took a nap.

I was asslep for three hours and trust me I could definitely sleep more. But I decided to text my friend James and see if we can meet up since I'm here in LA. We actually never meet in person. We did face time eachother, acutally he is the one who slide in my dms. He said he liked my personality and I was very honored because I was his fan since like forever.