Every ride , the car would be thrumming with music, every word and every hit of the drums and strum of the guitar would be felt.
Every day the house would feel the same and there'd be the long showers.
Jesus how I hated the long showers because he'd use up the hot water and when I'd turn on the faucet only cold would be left.
Every word and every action he made would send irritation through every cell in my body and it wasn't because of him as a person but because the empty spot in my life that was missing a father refused to accept him so it turned to the only emotion it would allow, anger.
Every day would pass and barley any words, we co existed and the feeling was mutual between the two of us.
But when the news came, when he received the news that the woman who raised him had left us , christ how it hurt.
The car rides were now silent.. the house felt hollow without the ricochet of the beat of whatever song he listened to, the silence turned from mutual agreement to feeling the ache and loss from his side..
and the showers .. the showers now had hot water that seared my skin because he showers in freezing temperatures to make the ache of the loss go away.
Only I would trade the quiet and the hot showers for the thrum of the music in a heart beat because the silence was deafening and it left room to hear the silent cries of pain.
KR
