How to Act "Correctly" ~*~ArsonBros/RichJake~*~

2. Be More "Cool"

          You want blonde hair, with a red streak down the center. You also want to cut your hair-- It's way too long!

          You want me to look like a fucking rooster? I was already tired of this. And my hair isn't that long!

          Yes! Listen, Rich, you need to listen to me! You don't want to return to how you were all year, do you? Even worse than the losers? If you don't listen to me, your life will only keep getting worse, I can guarantee it!

          This was seriously annoying. I sighed, walking into the shop, coming out a little more than an hour later with my hair dyed and a little bag in my hands. The bag has a little jar of hair gel in it. I don't dare ask what the gel is for.

          You're going to start slicking back your hair. Trust me, it will look so much better. Now, it's time to go to the front of the mall. You're going to call your brother.

          What? Why him?

          Because you don't want to look like a loser that needs to have his dad pick him up, do you? Listen, Rich, my goal is to help you to be more cool.

          You mean chill... Right?

          No, I mean cool. Listen, Rich, I know how to help you. You need to stop worrying.

          I am worried, especially since you just said "be more cool". Like, what the fuck even is that?

          Enough. Just call your brother.

          I listened to the Squip, pulling out my phone and calling my brother. I waited for about ten minutes, annoyed until he finally arrived. We didn't speak, save for him questioning me about my hair, which (after a small battle with the Squip) I just shrugged off.

          After that, the car ride was silent and uncomfortable. When we got back home, I retreated to my room and my brother simply told Dad that he was going out again. I sighed, closing my door.

          What's this?

          What's wha-- I froze. He was looking at my backpack, which had "FAG" written in big, bold letters on the back.

          This is worse than I thought. Did you try washing this off?

          Countless times. I was just going to get a new bag before next school year.

          Good idea. We'll do that when it gets closer to back to school sales, though. For now, we're going to work on your voice.

          My voice? What's wrong with my voice?

          You stutter. And that lisp... It's just so ugly... It needs to go.

          It can't be that easy to get rid of a lisp...

          It isn't. This will take some time. We also need to get some muscle on you, you're so scrawny... Then there's the fact that you have too much... Alone time, if you know what I mean... This will be difficult, but I'm determined to help fix you up! You'll be popular in no time!

          But what if I don't want to be popular? In reality, I just want to be accepted by my peers...

          And the only way to be accepted is to be popular, Rich!