"I can't deal with this anymore Kaitlyn! What is going on with you" Mom exclaims, trying to get me out of bed. "This is the third day this week you haven't gotten up! Have you even brushed your hair or teeth this week" she criticizes me, like that is what's going to get me out of bed; making me feel even worse than I already feel. Yeah, nice try, Mom. I don't think so. "Answer me Kaitlyn, I know you can hear me!" she pesters.
"If I knew, don't you think I would no longer be like this right now, Mom! Don't you think I would have dealt with this and gotten on with my life?" I lash out, sick of feeling like this all the time for my actions, or lack thereof. Feelings that I don't have any possible solutions to. Heck! I wouldn't even be about to tell you why these feelings are consuming me. "I don't even know what day it is" I mumble in disbelief and disappointment.
"Yeah right, as if you don't know what day it is! It's February 17th" Mom snears. No! No it can't be! It hasn't been two years. There is no way. This shouldn't affect me though, right? I didn't even know; remember.
"Stop! No it's not, Mom. It can't be." Well obviously it can be, my mind just refuses to believe it's true. "No, it's not that God-awful day that can be erased, otherwise you wouldn't be forcing me to go to school today" I say; explaining why I'm right and she is wrong. Or at least what I believe is right. I lay back down and attempt to drown myself in sleep for the rest of the day.
"Well it is. It's the 17th. I don't care if you don't believe me because it is and your just going to have to deal with it. It's been two years, get over it! She's gone! She's not coming back! She can't. She's dead. You can't let it affect you anymore. Stop moping around, you're a Junior in high school; start acting like one. I'm not fighting about this with you anymore you are going to school and that's final!" Mom spouts.
"No I'm not." I slur out holding back my tears as best as possible, while turning over in my bed making sure my mom can't see my face. God, I can't believe it. Why is this my life? Why did this have to happen to me? Why my best friend? Why can't I just get over it already? Will a day ever come that I don't miss her, or constantly think about her?
"Dave will be up in ten minutes. If you're not ready, I'm not calling you out of school and I'm giving him permission to leave without you." Mom declares. Ugh! Dave, my pest of an older brother. All he does is taunt me about the fact that ever since Jordon died I'm even more of a loner than I was before. Always pointing out that I really don't have any friends now because my one and only friend is gone. I really don't care that I don't have to spend 15 minutes in the car with him and his stupid friends. I ignore what she said and close my eyes.
I wake up about two hours later and just lay there thinking. Mom is right, isn't she? I need to get over this. She's gone, I can't bring her back. I've tried pleading with whomever it may concern and that did nothing. What do I do now? How do I get over this? Do I really have to? Let's make today the last day, get back to life after this. Become the Kaitlyn that I once was, but for right now let's make chocolate chip pancakes.. Jordan's favorite breakfast.
YOU ARE READING
2 Years Later
Teen FictionHow long will it take? Do the feelings ever fade? How do move forward? She's not coming back. But maybe instead of thinking about moving on, I should work on doing it. What next?
