Anesthesia

My Return:

It was still, it was like I was hovering in thin air. The moment Grell's scythe gave its final blow, I felt nothing; yet the instant I was given my fate. I felt a lightness hit my body, it was that in seconds I saw nothing. My vision was black, my body refrained from its movement in time. What seemed like centuries, I flicked open my eyes in shock. For a moment, from away my insanity, I wanted to believe that it was all a nightmare. Though, there was little I could believe as a Doctor, nothing could remove me from others beliefs. Whether that be life after death, was this...death? I thought in silence. My eyes were filled with utter fear, I glanced down to see my body...a horrid cave in my chest as I stepped back, watching my cinematic records flow in front of me and over vaguely to the red headed Shinigami. I thought he'd forgive me...I thought he would give me a chance to fix things. But...I suppose I felt like I wasn't enough for a powerful, beautiful Shinigami like himself. My heart broke, but I suppose I didn't deserve him, the way I was so ill to him at times. We laughed, we fought, we cried, and we drank til' we both dropped. My eyes slowly moved away from my former butler, now my reaper. I gazed through tears and watched him...My beautiful Nephew go near my lifeless body, silently grieving me.
'My Ciel....My darling Nephew...' was what I thought as I tried to move, but I was not able, and nor was my ability to communicate. In that moment, I only grew overwhelmed, you were alone now. How could I fail your mother? My sister, my beautiful sister whom I grew so fond of-and then her charming son, Ciel. I wanted to scream out to you, yet nothing came out from my lips. I didn't want to lose you, not again. Once my records slipped away, I felt nothingness again as I looked at my own hands. Then began to quickly vanish and go transparent until I am gone completely.
It suddenly felt warm, safe, and silent.
I was standing in a large, spacious...wide area coated in white, I felt light again.
I began to panic, I was not in London, it was completely something out of this Earth. 
Then I saw her.
It was a perfect silhouette of my sister, your mother. For a split second, I felt at peace as she began to walk to me. My eyes had blurred from my very tears, I was home...I was so happy. Perhaps I thought, I was blessed not to die in hell. For what of the crimes I committed.
It happened again before I could even embrace my sister, I quickly faded away. I was alone, again in that bland, white gown.
Little did I know, that I would be alone to face my own visions...It was like a nightmare, but I learned to bare them over time when I began to accept what I've done. Suppose this is what I deserved, to be alone and being tortured and battled by my past.
Over time, I didn't know what was going to happen to me next. Yet, I kept thinking of seeing my sister again, seeing my darling Nephew again.
If he'd ever want to see me, after all the trouble I gave him. I thought.
Before I lost my last hopes from time, I was resurrected from this strange place where I was kept at for so long.
I opened my eyes, only to see a familiar man...
The Undertaker.
He...greeted me, he held out his pale hand that at many times touched the deceased. Even mine, but now...again, with blood pumping through my veins. In shock and in distraught, I became numb...and so the Undertaker took me to a room of coffins, tending to give me a new dress to wear and then trimmed my long hair to its normal height. Just like the way it was, a few years ago prior to my death.
I am not sure what was Undertaker's purpose and why he had done so, but...he never seemed to explain, instead he let me go.
But...I-I'm so glad to be here, to be back, with my Nephew, my only family.