The Devil's Garden

One

I gather my things one by one. The hospital had become my home, the nurses were my family. The sharp ammonia smell that lingered in the halls was my security blanket. For a split second, I allow myself to waiver in my decision of pretending I'm okay. Only for a second. Then I brush away the thought and allow myself to be eager for the outside world. Where would I go? Who would I meet? All I knew was that I wouldn't be contained to this cinder block box that's held me captive for the last four
years. Scared or not, I am determined to live the life Papa would have wanted me to live. Free.

I turn from my suitcase, where I was previously shoving clothes into and grab my final thing from the bedside table. A picture of Papa and my mother, when she was just a little girl. The only two people who have ever loved me, both dead. My hand absentmindedly makes its way to the silver chain around my neck, the last thing I had left of my mother, and I slide the oval locket tight between my fingertips. I drop my hand and pick up the picture, turning to place it gingerly in my suitcase. Toothpaste, toothbrush, a few personal momentous, and lastly a Manila envelope which contains a faded hand written note and Two-hundred and fifty dollars which was all that my Papa had left in his savings when he died.

"Mia." I look up to see Nurse Avery standing in my door way, I could tell she felt bitter sweet about my leaving. So did I.

"Is the taxi here already?" I ask softly, closing my suitcase and fastening the clasps on it.

"Afraid so." She was fighting back tears. She said in nursing school they told her not to get emotionally attached to her patients, but she said since we were her family, it was impossible not too.

"I'll visit." I say.

"I wouldn't ask you to visit this prison, but I'll give you my number and we could meet for coffee sometime. My treat." She smiles. Avery had secretly offered to let me stay with her, I didn't want to get her in trouble though, so I declined.

"Thanks A." I pick up my suitcase and look around the room just one last time. Who knew I'd be sad about leaving this hell hole? I walk over to Avery and give her a hug. "I'm gonna miss you." I say, allowing a few tears to fall. I told myself I wouldn't do this, but I've always been an emotional wreck. We hug one more time. "Now let me go before the cab driver gets mad." I say laughing.

"Okay, be safe out there Mia. And never hesitate to call me." She pulls out her tiny notebook and pen out of her scrubs and jots down her number. I take it and then start down the long corridor towards the office. Once I get there the morning guard buzzed me through the first set of doors, I swiftly closed them behind myself. Taking a deep breath I step towards the doors to the outside world. I had previously lost my outside privileges so it had been a whole year since I've felt the sun on my face. I could hardly wait. I push open the door and the light shines in.

The birds are chirping, in the distance I hear a lawn mower - I think- and in this moment I am sure, someone on this planet, is experiencing utter joy. It's a beautiful day. I revel in the warmth, and drown myself in the thought of happiness. I smile, and half run down the concrete steps towards the car awaiting me. I open the door and slide into the backseat.

"Where too miss?" The cab driver asks, I've thought about this long and hard and I settled on the only place that would feel welcoming to me.

"Could you just take me to The Brew?" I ask softly.

"Sure thing." He puts the car in drive and soon the hospital starts fading away behind us.

Papa always took me to this little coffee shop, he said they always welcomed people like us. People that were different. Different for Papa was a good thing, but I hated it. At eight years old I was playing with ghosts rather than children my own age. I shiver at the thought of me believing that to be true. All in your head. I remind myself swiftly. I don't want to land myself back in the crazy house before I can even try to get out in the real world.