Forbidden Weasley

meat

TW: getting sick, cartwheels, Draco Malfoy

Ron POV:
It had been four years since Ron had first laid eyes on the pale, pasty, cracker that was Draco Milfboy. Their interaction was anything but friendly and had been a representation of bad blood between their families that had festered when Lucius and Arthur started working together. Ron had grown up in a family of accepting people and the Milfboys were anything but welcoming.

But he couldn't get rid of this strange feeling that crept in every time he saw the white hair that plagued his mind all the time or the weird fondness that he gained for the color green.

"Ron," cried his black-haired friend,

Oh no. He was caught making simp eyes at Draco again. He was starting to feel really hungry.
"Ronathoy" Hermione whispered, pinching his arm to get his attention. "Why are you staring at Mouthful like that!"
"Shut up Hermione," Dumbledore said, passing by their table in the great room.
"Yeah, let weaselbee LIVE" Slutwhore ejaculated.
"Whoreface, you're not in this until the 6th movie!!!!" Dumbledore spooted, giving Gryffindor 50 points.
"I came early this year!" He ejaculted, ejaculating. Draco quickly sped over to the Gryffindor table, armed with a bunch of terrible comebacks that probably ended with some wizard swear. He slowed his pace while passing the Golden Trio and focused his eyes on the bright red patch of hair and pig pink skin.
"Weasley," he carcassed, staring right through Ron as if he was a fucking plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again. "Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin, like a house of cards, one blow from caving in? Do you know that there's, still a chance for you, cause there's a ✨spark✨ in you, you just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine"
"Let it shine, the hit Disney movie?!?" Hermione chirped like a pathetic big bird looking ass hoe.
"Shut the FAWK😤up" Harry said, handing over five sickle cell anemias to Fred and George. Draco cartwheeled away as Pantene scurried by, sticking her tongue out. Coincidentally, Errol was flying in with a Howler and ripped Pantene's tongue out.  Hermione tapped Ron on the shoulder, anger written all over her face.
"Who did this🤣😂" Dumbledore said, closing the door behind him and disappearing into thin air. Slutwhore followed suit.
"Hermione, you might want to wash your face" Ron said, pointing to the G placed right in between her eyebrows.

yeah sex is cool but have you ever Millie rocked on ever single block?
Also Gerard Way please don't pee on me.

Hermione laughed syrupticiouslg. I don't know how to spell that word. I can't even remember what it means. "I think you're pretty swell Ron, and we're gonna have a lot of sexual tension for a while but I'm actually gonna be a lesbian in this story for the sake of the plot" Harry laughed uncomfortably and called for Sirius in the doggy dog 🐶 form. "Sirius is a good little boy when he's a dog" Hermione mentioned, as Sirius came trotting into the great room, not to be confused with the great hall. Ron had watched Draco the entire time, fascinated by his enemy's swagger. Mouthful could grab the attention of everyone in the room with a simple swish of his boney fucking hips.

Bone sex.
"Rough" Sirius barked. Sirius always knew what to say.
"But Sirius, I saw Cedric in the muggle world. He was a VAMPIRE! How do we know he's not pretending to be a wizard so he can consume students?" Harry cried, petting Sirius' little goofy foofy woofy head. Hermione slithered under the table and met up with Kickher Krumbs, but we don't know that yet. Ron couldn't get the bright eyes out of his mind, cartwheeling out of the room with amazing style. The blonde hair was a permanent feat in his head.
Truly, I think the school of rock is an underrated movie and Broadway show. Y'all ever seen that? Like fucking Ned Schlebly or whatever is kinda fire. Or no I guess it's Dewey or whatever his name is but Luke he teaches kids that they're awesome. Plus Jack black, Miranda cosgrove? Fucking dope. Like I understand it's a really bad concept like a whole ass adult finesses his way through the job market and lies to a bunch of kids and uses them for a band but he literally gives them confidence and makes them happy. And I mean any movie with Jack black in it can't be that serious. Like let's just take it at face value. It's a solid movie. Also I've never found Jack black attractive but Jack black in school of rock could get it. I know I was literally two when it came out but I mean like he's hot in this movie. Maybe I'm not ok.
"Ron, what do you think? Do you trust Cedric?" Harry asked, taking a bite of roasted chicken.
"Well I mean my dad and his dad have been friends for a while so like yeah? I guess?" Ron muttered, glancing at his own chicken and pushing it away.
"Ron... you always eat your chicken. Are you ok?" Questioned Harry as Sirius sniffed Ron's arm and begged for some more food.
"Roof" Sirius babbled, licking Harry's hand. (Please don't make this sexual HES a dog and Sirius is a whole ass adult Harry is a child like)
"I'm great. Perfect. I just, I feel like Mal-"
"Ok as long as you're good lmao" Harry cut off, getting up to get some Cho Chang Coochie. Ron did not know how to feel as his head told him to look for Hermione and tell her he loves her but his heart told him to go to the dungeons and look for a patch of white blonde hair.
"RONRONRON!"  Chartreuse Mauve yelled, sliding over to the empty spot in front of Ron. She reached over to Ron's hands and smiled brightly at him, showing the rotting piece of meat stuck in her teeth. Ron shivered at the idea of her lips on his.
"Hi Shart," Ron mumbled, feeling his stomach grow with the terrible feeling of sick. Vomvomvomvom
"Ron, you look really good today! We should like hang out more often!" Chartreuse said, playing with her hair in a really weird fucking way ew what the fuck can she not.
"I have to go." Ron said, feeling the sickness take over his stomach and inch it's way towards the top of his throat.
"Wait, Ron, I wanted to-" Shart COULDNT get the last few words out before Ron actually fucking vomited all over her. His sexy sweater was completely ruined and his really intimidating plump pink purple plush posh lips. He felt his pink skin turn redder and redder and he jumped up and ran out of the great room, not looking back at the horrified expression left on Sirius' dog face.