A Light in the Dark // Flicker Series Part I #wattys2019

Picture Perfect

I guess I'm not just jealous, though. I'm terrified, because the thought of losing him is the thing that scares me most in this entire world.

I know that the second I tell him all of this he will tell me I have nothing to worry about and he'll take away my fears like he always does, I just have to get through the rest of the night without decking a super model in the process.

"Hails, definitely let us know when you're in London. We'd love to do dinner." Niall smiles and steps forward to hug her again.

Would we? Would we love to do dinner?

Oh get over it, Ev. If Niall is friends with her she's obviously a decent human being.

But my jealousy flares again when a photographer seemingly pops out of nowhere and insists upon snapping photos of them together.

The photos of them just talking were one thing, but when the photographer asked them to pose together I couldn't help but feel jealous that it wasn't me that he was asking to pose with Niall.

I try to calm myself by reminding myself that I was the one he walked the red carpet with and there are already plenty of photos of us together. I'm reminded of the day he asked me to come with him in the first place, telling me he wouldn't want to be here without me...

The ugly truth that my mind chooses to remind me of is this: nobody is waiting for us to be side by side so they can snap a picture of us together. We won't make a sell able cover story for them. Everyone wants him with someone else. Someone that they can link him to that will get people talking. Nobody wan't us together.

I know Niall isn't looking for a cover story or for people to talk about him any more than they already do, but when it comes down to paparazzi wanting photos of Niall with someone at an awards show...they're always going to want someone that will generate a better headline and out of me and Hailee, i'm obviously not the first choice. Not tonight, or ever.

But I can't do anything to change that, and tonight isn't about me. I'm here for him whether I get photographed for it or not. I'm still the one he looks at with stars in his eyes and I'm the one he's taking home tonight. I'm the one that will wake up in his arms tomorrow and I'm the one he wants to spend his life with. All of those things are about me and Niall, not Hailee and Niall.

While Niall finishes taking the photos that will probably still make me cringe when I open Instagram tomorrow, I made up my mind to put this aside in my mind and focus on making this the best night that I can for Niall.

There is no sense in me staying upset about this. While I will have a conversation with Niall about it, that doesn't have to happen tonight. He doesn't need to have that on his mind to worry about. This is his night and he should be excited. I don't need to do anything to add to his nerves. It's my job to ease them like he always does for me.

So when Hailee leaves, after saying goodbye to Niall but completely ignoring me, I pick up where Niall and I had left off before her arrival and forget that little incident ever happened.