you wake up,
open your eyes.
you feel hopeless and you feel drained.
you have no courage to go to school,
because you hate that place.
you hate the amount of pressured being on top of you.
you hate the amount of eyes stuck on top of you looking at you up and down
and up and down,
as you shiver.
desperately trying to calm the beating of your heart, feeling like you're going to pass out.
you hate those comments and those facial expressions looking down on you.
they make you feel worthless, you try to stay strong but it's not looking that good.
so, you keep your head down and wait every painful second to pass by,
until you can go back home.
you want to speak up but you don't have enough courage,
and your friends?
they just want to be with you at school,
it's not like they care for you.
do they now?
you can't talk to them about that.
_____________________________
i guess someone out there could relate to this. sometimes our everyday lives could be a living hell. to the point we can't take it anymore, we want to cry hysterically so all the pain goes out or just so we feel more painful.
or we just can't cry and then we bottle up more and more stress, until we eventually explode.
and then regret bad things we said, things we did.
but it can't always be like that. when you feel like breaking down you could totally talk to someone you trust. there must this one person you feel like you can trust or think of when you feel terrible. there must be at least one person.
or if in that one particular situation where you have literally no one or you simply have intense trust issues, find a way to express your emotions whether they are good or bad in something that gives you motivation and makes you feel good or happy generally.
do your best to not let the bad things affect you. try your absolute best to focus on the positive things and appreciate the little things in life. whether it might be the smile your friend put on their mouth when they saw you, that person you absolutely adore laughed because of you.
things like that.
always remember you are matter and you are loved.
- A.V.
