Asleep

▴ 01 | Intro

LATE MARCH 2017

It was pitch black outside. I couldn't see a thing. 

The streetlights were the only thing keeping me sane, convincing me that I knew where I was going.

 I didn't. 

My friends convinced me that going to this party was a good idea. Considering all the girls there didn't seem like people of substance, but more of people drinking substance. I just wanted to go home. 

Blaise. He lived on the road next to my house. He threw parties all the time at his because he lived so far out in the middle of nothing. The only problem was the walk I had to take back. Because he lived so far out in the middle of nowhere, meant I was going to be walking for a while. 

My friends were enjoying themselves, but I wasn't feeling it. I had a little more on the line if the party got busted anyway. But it wouldn't get busted because it never had before. Blaise was pretty good about that.

"Hey," a whispery voice caught my attention from behind. 

I turned around in surprise to see who it was. I was scared shitless, I squealed. 

"Shit, sorry! I didn't mean to scare you." Casey. 

Casey was beautiful. He was on the football team, partygoer on the weekends, and not too shabby on the eyes. He could have any girl he wanted- and he did. Literally. I met him the other night for the first time when my friend Katelyn from out of town introduced us. 

He claimed I was cool and funny. I like to think I was a little more classier than the girls he was used to. Katelyn convinced him I was a "badie." Cringe at that word. 

He had muscles for days and a beautiful smile. Note: He also had a really nice ass. Of course, I was trash and didn't stand a chance with him. I shouldn't have even been thinking of something like that anyway. He wasn't the kind I should be getting myself enwrapped with. 

I just didn't understand why he was following me. 

"Hey," I said a little bit too softly. Shit. Weakness. 

"Are you okay?" He stuffed his hands inside his coat pockets.

"Yeah," I laughed nervously, "You didn't have to come all the way out here to ask me that." 

"Why'd you leave?" 

"I'm just tired." Lie. I hated myself and wanted to go home and cry in a fetal position. 

"Do you need a ride?" 

"No, no no no. If my dad catches a boy dropping me off at home, you won't see me for a while. He doesn't even know where I am right now," I laughed to brush off the seriousness of the statement. 

Casey laughed and smiled. That beautiful, beautiful smile. His eyes were a little shiny. He'd been drinking, but not his max. 

"Go," I said, "I'll be fine." 

You would probably think he was interested in me by the way he came to check up on me. But, he's not. You see, that's just the kind of guy Casey was. It's just him. 

He hesitated. 

"I'll see you later," I smiled. 

He nodded and started slowly walking back. 

If he was really into me he would've walked me home. 

Casey was a facade, a fantasy, a dream. He was my dream boy, but never a realistic hope. It made me feel good on the inside that I was at least worthy enough for a friend status. 

I'm not going to lie, though. I cried on the way home after he left. 

There's always some part of you who wishes the boy would've done what you thought he would never do. 

For me, I just wanted a boy to walk me home. 

It just wasn't my time, yet.