Leah's POV:
I don't think I'm getting cold feet. I think I'm just scared, of what he will say or do. But I have to do it, just get it over with. I know I want to be with Nash. Especially after the last two days. He's showed me what happy actually is. Drew's made me smile here and there. but when I'm with Nash, a smile never leaves my face. The way he holds me, makes me feel safe and wanted. I automatically fall asleep,his arms warm and tight around me. I wanna be able to fall asleep to that every night. I have to leave Drew. Not just because he doesn't treat me right and he put his hands on me, but I don't have feelings for him anymore. I haven't since the first time me and Nash kissed. Probably even before I even met Nash. he was just the one that helped me realize it.
"You okay?" Nash Whispers against the back of my neck. We lay on my bed, my back against his chest as we stare up at reruns of jersey shore on my laptop.
"Yeah" I nod. "just thinking" I place my hands over his on my stomach.
"Are you having second thoughts?" his voice is unsure.
I turn to face him . "No. I know what I wanna do. I'm not changing my mind" I need to get it over with. I have stopped feeling guilty about it. I don't want to get in the habit of procrastinating but still cheating on Drew. "I don't want a label" I add
"What do you mean?" his voice offensive.
"I don't want to take things so fast. I don't want people to think were together" that came out wrong.
"Wait" he sits up. " if you don't want to be with me then why...."
"No, your taking it the wrong way Nash" I sit up as well "I want to be together but I don't want a label. "
"You mean , you want to kiss me but not call me your boyfriend?" he's getting pissed.
"not as soon as we start dating . I want to take things slow. work up to the boyfriend/girlfriend thing" I try and explain to him.
he stands up " If you didn't notice, I'm still in a two year relationship. and soon to be just out of a two year relationship"
.
he scoffs. " You should of left him a long fucking time ago, we could already been together without going through all this shit "
"I loved him a long time ago. " the words taste foreign.
He stares at me , no emotion covering his face. "I'm going to Cam's"
before I can say anything, he leaves. slamming the door behind him.
He gets to offended to fast. Like I don't want to be with him, or he thinks I'm going to reject him so he starts an argument.
I need to go to Drew's.Nash insisted on coming with me, but I guess that's changed.
Maybe I should try to call my mom again before I go. I haven't talked to her since I started college. I know she's okay because I've talked to Mae here and there. She calls me letting me know how my mom is doing, and if they started any new treatments.
"Hello?" My moms clear, strong voice surprises me by answering. A smile covers my face. For weeks. For months. That's all I wanted to here, Her angelic voice.
"Mom?" my words crack due to excitement.
"Hey baby girl" My eyes begin to water. I take the phone away from my ear, letting out a deep breath before bringing it back up to my ear.
"Hey Momma" My smile grows.
"How are you? How is school?" Thats my mom . always putting others before herself .
أنت تقرأ
Dorm 123
عاطفية" If you never brake, You'll never know how to put yourself back together "
