It's very SIMPLE

CHAPTER 1

I am standing, looking out through my balcony, as I slowly sipped on my coffee. It was my everyday routine after work - to take bath, drink some coffee as I look on the passersby busy in the chores of their mechanical life and start my work again. The name is Aaliya. I am a Chartered Accountant by qualification. Being an executive in a top company at Mumbai, I belonged to the younger section of the working class (in their early 20s), who are passionate and ambitious about their careers. But somehow I never fit into the stereotypes. I realized that I was detached from life for a long time. But still I continued to act as the circumstances required me to.

I belonged to a middle class Indian family. So the way I was brought up was also the like. Its not that I hated my life but I have always felt that there was something missing. My parents had conservative morals and therefore had expected me to follow the same. The good thing about my parents is that they talk with me. Though their ideas were conservative and I was to abide them, they gave me the freedom to question them. However it was a parade of its own. Sometimes our discussions get heated up so bad that I feel like I am a lawyer in a courtroom and my parents are the judges, who overrule most of my statements as argumentative. But I personally believe, it was because they could not come up with satisfactory answers.

That was when I realised that I forgot to call mom today to give daily status updates. After moving out from my parents place, I had the additional task of updating them with every single details of the day. They have this paranoia that now that I am living with my colleague, I might slip into so called unethical habits like clubbing, partying etc. They also embarass me sometimes by checking with my roomie (who I share my comfortable apartment with) if I have a boyfriend drama. (Smirk) Thats the last thing I want in this world. [No offense to men]. Though they exhibit this completely normal annoying parental behaviour (which might go overboard at times), I could still understand them. They want to protect me, make my life perfect and comfortable as much as they could. But guess what it truly never is.

Still I love them a lot like a lot... So I took my phone to see that I have already got 3 missed calls from her. I checked the time, it showed 10:00 p.m. (Oops! Im screwed). I called her and she picked up on the first ring. How many times have I told you to call me as soon as you reach home? You never understand how terrified I get if you dont call me. Continued my mother. Her voice was mixed with concern and anger. I am sorry ma, Lots of work today. My brain is getting pressure-cooked I replied slowly. Are you taking care of yourself? Do you eat properly? Had your dinner Ma, I am fine. And yes I will have my dinner after sometime, as usual. Stop stressing out. I gave a small smile. What about papa is he sleeping? I asked her. No, hes awake. And he wants to talk to you. Hold on saying so she passed the phone to dad. Liya How are you sweety? my dad asked. I said I was fine and the usual topics of time, health and safety went on for a while. And thats when things started going south.

Rita aunty had called today. She said that she has a proposal for you from her family friend. They saw your picture and they liked you. They want meet us and have a formal discussion on this matter. So my dad stopped waiting for my answer. I didnt reply. After sometime he called out Hello. Liya. Are you there?? Im listening dad I said slowly. So we are thinking that now that you are independent and qualified, maybe its time to start thinking about your marriage? he asked hesitantly. I know it was my Moms idea. She knew I would put a fight if she was the one breaking the news to me. She knew I wouldnt fight as much with dad. However I have my own plans. Fine dad. You can start looking for a good match. But dont expect me to get married anytime soon. Why not, if things are working out whats the point in delaying things? he sounded a bit agitated. I couldnt hold it any longer. The point is dad Im not ready for a marriage now. However I sense that you both have some plans in your mind. But it is not that easy for me. Hope you understand that. Saying that I excused myself from any further conversations on the context of having dinner.

I noticed that my coffee had grown cold and tasteless. It somehow made me feel that if I dont do certain things I have to sort out and do them now. Or else they may become useless (as the coffee which I just washed down the drain). I sat down the couch and picked my phone to text my roomie and best friend Shonali. We have been friends for a few years. She is not my long time bestie (In fact I never got to have anyone like that) but still she understood me better than others (many times even my parents) and how much I cared for my own space. Just as I was waiting for her reply, the doorbell rang. I got up with a smile thinking that it was Shona, but my smile dropped seeing her fully inebriated and talking all slurry. She couldnt even stand on her own, so her friend and colleague Vidhan was supporting her. I quickly let them in and Vidhan slowly dropped her on the couch as she slowly mumbled something. He turned to me to tell me what happened. I was shocked. Her boyfriend had text dumped her in the evening (Such a jerk). And so her weekend clubbing with her colleagues turned her into a drunken mess, as I could see. Apparently everyone from her office or even in the entire club knew the story, as she was shouting it out in her drunken stupor. He told me how he and some of his friends had to forcefully bring her back though its only 11:00 p.m. (In short their night effectively ruined).

He gave me genuinely sorry smile as I walked him to the door. I thanked him for his help and locked up the house to get ready for the night. I was so angry at Shona, after all, things are changing in my life and I thought of opening up to her for the first time, willingly, about everything that has happened, to sort myself. But looking at her whimpering in her sleepy state, I couldnt help but to help her out. So I sighed, and kept aside her stilletoes and bag. I also brought some warm water and towel to dab her face clean of smudged makeup. Oh God! but the stench of alcohol and nausea was bad enough. I tried waking her but she wouldnt budge. So I laid her properly on the couch and cleaned her face. I also brought her favourite pillow and a blanket to cover her (Because Shona catching a cold is a disaster). She quickly started snoring softly. With a small smile, I went to the kitchen to find something eat, but somehow I did not feel hungry anymore. So I had an apple and crashed into my bed.

I did not feel like writing my diary tonight. Also I had thought of completing a portrait or the poetry (nothing much just small poems here and there) but I just couldnt bring myself to do anything. This was not the first time my parents gave me the Marriage Talk but somehow- I felt they were much more planned and serious this time. I felt completely and utterly alone as tears started to well in my eyes. All my life I have broken peoples expectations and felt guilty later on. So after a breaking point I decided not to open up, talk or get to know anyone. Whats the point no one actually understands what is going inside you. So it was better to move away from people even if it means hurting them, I decided (which I end up doing anyways). That was the reason why I gladly accepted a job in Mumbai, away from my sensitive parents. That was the reason why despite being an extrovert I chose not get too friendly with anyone. So, just as I thought that I was successful, Shona came into my life as my roomie.

Shona was a very light hearted, joyful and live-in the moment person. She worked in an advertising company. We were to share all expenses equally and she was not much of trouble. She was not exactly the overnight partying type but she had a boyfriend who was. I found her a quiet soul myself and tried not to disturb her much. She too respected my privacy and secrecy and did not bother to make conversations in the beginning. But as things started going south in her social life and boyfriend issues, she had no one else to confide in. And I have always loved to listen to people. And I soon became her easy outlet and most trusted friend. Sometimes I used to help her with designing and presentation ideas. We started hanging out together like going to a small sweet café in our neighbourhood, every Saturday morning (start of a weekend/ sometimes to help her hangover) or going for shopping or very rarely to a movie etc., She, most importantly, understood how uncomfortable I felt around too much company and seldom forces me to get out of the apartment. I am quite sure she will not be able to recognise the childhood me. I remember how my relatives and neighbours used to say that I was a talkative, naughty and smart brat. But things have changed a lot. I dont care or I dont want to care what others think or say. Not anymore.

I looked at the clock and realised it was past midnight and I was sobbing gently. Thinking of the past, generally wastes the present, flooding with all possible memories both good and bad. And I was scared of changes. I will have to sort myself out as my 23rd birthday is nearing and I might have to yield to my parents wishes sooner or later or else I could come up with better excuses. And so I thought and before I knew I fell asleep.