Under the Sheets

Chapter Two

I didn't go back home like I'd planned when I woke up this morning. Sleep was the last thing on my mind now as I made my way to nowhere in particular. My mind was too filled with how Kael looked as I tried to explain that we couldn't be together. Looking back I could now put together phrases that might have made it easier for him. Anything but the dumb expression that I was so sure I'd worn through most of it.

I was at a traffic light when I heard the motorcycle pull up on my side of the car, and Adam flashed a million dollar smiled, helmet-less. "Pull over, babe."

"Where's your helmet?" I demanded, "Damn it Adam if your brains go splat..."

"I knew you were only with me for my brains," He muttered, then revved. "You look like shit. I saw you drive by Brock's and thought I could convince you to have coffee with me. I forgot the helmet."

"You could've called," I berated, and he rose his cell in response, claiming that he did. Twice. I checked and the miss calls were there. Hmm. I hadn't heard a thing. "I'll bring the car around, you can go back and wait for me." He grinned again like a bad boy before spinning his bike and heading back. My mind could barely register his hotness this morning, and I really didn't look forward to getting glares from the waitress yet again. Her glares said what was obvious. 'Seriously? This guy is with you?'

So fine. I wasn't perfect. I had no body whatsoever and my hair right now was overgrown so that it tickled my ears when the wind blew. I was more than a tad below six feet. And quite skinny.

Adam was waiting for me when I got out of the car, leaning against his bike and looking like a typical tough guy. My eyes were drawn to his biceps purely because that was exactly what he had wanted, folding his arms like that. Sure enough he stuck out his tongue at me when he caught me looking. "Hey sunshine," he tousled my sunny blonde hair and placed a warm kiss on my cheek, right there on the pavement, not bothering with the few pedestrians that lingered.

"Ha-ha, it's drizzling," I retorted.

"That's why you're only my sunshine." Oh god. When he said things like that I never knew how to reply. I could do a freaking curtsy and smile prettily when he smooth-talked me. "Something wrong?"

Shit. "No, just tired," I replied quickly.

"You looked like you were heading to my place actually," Adam remarked, "And why are you dressed like you just rolled out of bed."

"Adam," I stopped him and took his hand as if I had terrible news to tell him. Actually. I did. "I just got out of bed." He dimpled as he led me back to where he had been sitting and I found an extra cup of coffee there. I took a sip and smiled. Satisfactory, but Kael made a – I froze my thoughts.

"You sure that you're okay? You look like someone died or something," Adam stroked the back of my hand with his thumb repeatedly, "Wanna talk about it?"

I shook my head. "Not yet." I hoped he'd understand and not pry, and for once he didn't.

He studied me over his coffee before speaking again, "Are you free tonight?"

Thank god for a genius boyfriend who always knew what I needed. I nodded, "Yeah. I'm free, why?"

"Don't freak out, but I mean that I want you to spend the night..."

"Yes. Okay." If he only knew that I was going to ask him just that. But wait, did he mean...?

"What?" He was definitely confused, "Two months of nothing, and now it is 'okay'?"

"I thought you'd be happy," I replied, there really was no end to his questions.

"Damn it, you know I am, but I'm worried too, babe. I know it's not easy for you since –" He faltered, and his worried grey eyes told me he wished very much not to say what he felt he had to, "Simon."

I pretended that the name didn't affect me. I pretended that my heart didn't speed dangerously and that it wasn't suddenly very difficult to breathe. I pretended because it was unfair to Adam. He shouldn't have to put up with damaged goods. I didn't understand why he even stayed with me when I never put out. I would try tonight. For him.

"I'm sorry, Rick," He breathed his apology, "No pressure, babe, I just want to hold you, okay? I want to know what it's like to fall asleep with you and wake up and have you there with me, that's all, I promise." He was sweet. I didn't deserve him, nor did I deserve Kael.

"No," I reassured him, "No, I wanna try again tonight."

Adam choked, "Freaking hell, I burned my throat." Then his voice got quieter when his outburst drew raised eyebrows. "This is bound to be a very long day."

He had classes to tutor this morning and he had his own courses in the afternoon. I grinned, liking the thought of him actually being excited to be with me. "Gimme your key, I'll be waiting for you, big boy."

"Gosh, I think I'm coming down with something, better call in sick," He jested. Adam didn't know how to be sick. In my short time with him I already knew that he worked his ass off doing two jobs to put himself through college. He never got sick because he couldn't afford to be.

"Go," I chase him with a laugh, "Do your job, I'm not going anywhere."

He stood and brushed my cheek with his hand before leaning down to kiss me. "Good. So I won't have to chase you down."

His apartment wasn't as messy as mine. Everywhere smelled clean, and the place was dustless. The only thing out of place was the clothes he'd probably tumbled through to get something to wear earlier. They lay strewn on the floor, bed and chair.

His apartment was so simple. Basically two rooms, a common room that led from a living area to the kitchen, and another room that contained his bed and a bathroom. His bedroom door was left open with a shirt hanging over the frame. Slowly I made my way through his living space as if it were my first time here. I had never been here all alone before, and the feeling left me foolishly confused as to what I could and could not do. I decided on picking up the clothes.

Maybe it was weird but it somehow comforted me to fold his clothes. One after the other I placed them neatly in a basket I found in his room until there was nothing but the shirt on the door. He had worn this yesterday.

I ended up doing laundry, makinga bowl of cereal, taking a shower then wearing my sweats with one of his T-shirts that he had gotten from his high school football team. It was big on me but I felt happy enough with it since it was at least a little smaller than his other shirts. It smelled like him just from being among his other clothes.

I had to log into my Netflix account on his laptop. He could've just told me, I would've upgraded to share my access with him, no problem. He was always trying to do everything on his own, it was the only thing that drove me to frustration with him. He didn't know how to accept help from anyone, even for little things.

When my phone rang I actually noticed this time, smiling when Adam's face showed up with the caller ID. "Hey babe, I was just thinking about you," I tell him.

"Oh yeah? Dirty little fantasies I hope," he said in a low, conspiratorial tone. He was probably calling me in between classes. "Is there anything you want to have for dinner?"

I resisted teasing him by saying 'you'. Especially since I was a sissy when it came to sex. I had to be the worst boyfriend on earth. "I'll make something."

"You'll only find meat in the freezer..." He trailed off, knowing that I'm vegetarian. "Better if I pick up something, after I get groceries this afternoon." I'dnoticed that earlier when I had cereal. 

I shook my head before realizing that he wouldn't see the gesture, "I'll shop, just come home right after, really."

I heard his grin through the phone, "I'm seriously melting right now, Rick, you just told me to come home." It was probably the only reason why he didn't object to me shopping for him. "See you later, honey." He practically blew kisses through the phone as my face got heated.

Right, I thought as I hung up. Honey. I couldn't even enjoy his affection today. And I recognized the feeling in my chest only because it was so familiar to me. Guilt.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A/N: Tell me if you ever had to choose between two amazing people, and stay with me to the end please. I promise it gets better, chipmunks.

- Ender Xen