After Lights Out

DAY ONE | 4:03pm

D A Y   O N E | 4:03pm

I never thought I could get sick of the color grey. It's just a such a calm and placid color that doesn't require an abundant amount of emotion to enjoy. Like black, but the lighter, not as soulless version.

Well, that opinion of the shade went straight out of the window once the nurse who escorted me out of the doctor's office, handed me clothes which looked and felt like scrubs. But grey. Even the shoes were grey. And then, as though I wasn't already marinating in the color, she silently escorted me through the hall of the manor, little to my knowledge did I know it was going to the last time I saw such vibrant colors.

We stood at the entrance of two thick double doors, my guess was they were made out of steel or some kind of metal, because they looked inescapable, which of course didn't settle the claustrophobia I was already feeling. The nurse used her keycard and as the light turned green, she used both hands to heave one of the doors open. Yeah, definitely not made of plywood.

Just as she was about to step over the threshold, she looked back at me and noticed the hesitation. Walking past those obnoxiously big doors meant that I was no longer in control of my own life. I wouldn't know when I would next see the outside world, or if I would ever see it again. Walking past those doors meant my freedom was no longer real. I was just going to be another patient, junked up on pills, desperately waiting for the day where my stay was over and I could go home.

I wanted to run so bad. Turn on my heel and bolt it straight out of dodge. I mean, I could have, the entrance to the manor was only a few yards behind us. I was sure if I tried, I could outrun the nurse, scale the fence and leave. I would still have my freedom and my control, sure, I wouldn't be cured of my illness, but I wouldn't be rotting in some mental home either. The urge to run had never been so appealing. Be smart Addison, a voice spoke up in my head, the more rational side of me. If I managed to make it past the gates, then what? I could barely focus on the ride up to Animus, it was highly doubtful I would be able to find my way back without getting lost in the vast amount of forest and rocky terrain that surrounded the place. I would be condemning myself to death, because even if by some miracle I found my way back home, I wouldn't be welcomed. I was too much of a burden, they would just send me right back here.

"Miss Layton, we don't have all day." The nurse droned impatiently, tapping her shoe against the grey tiles. More grey, how promising. With an elongated sigh, I reluctantly stepped past the threshold, my fists clenching nervously as I did. Adios, free will.

Inwardly, I took a deep breath, trying to settle my raging nerves. It felt so surreal, my parent and David had gotten that sick of me, they just handed me to some institute in the hopes I would get better. They knew as well I did, especially David, that I wasn't coming back from this the way they wanted. If, and it was a big if, I managed to wriggle my way out of Animus, I wouldn't be seeing them. I would build my own life up, far away from the ones who couldn't handle me at my worst.

I flinched as the click of the door resounded through the bland grey hall. No going back now. Almost immediately, I began to itch my forearm anxiously, following the nurse with small timid steps. I really didn't want to be there, but then, who did?

Faint murmuring could be heard in the distance, gradually getting louder the further we got down the corridor, until suddenly, it opened up into a large room, filled with a variety of furniture, couches, chairs, tables, all bolted down into the floor. The centerpiece of the room was small table harboring scattered pieces of chess, loitering across the board. I glanced around the rest of the room, wondering where everyone was. It was practically empty except from a patient-- in white scrubs for a change of color-- being soothed by a nurse.