Slogging from Monday to Friday isn't uncommon in Indian work life. Finally, when it's Friday, the workers start their plans for the weekend.
Well, for Johny, Fridays were always the same as other weekdays. First, work 9 hours, go home, eat, and sleep. Then, Saturday and Sunday, watch movies at home. Then, meet up with some friends and be home by 9 PM. Well, this Friday was different. This Friday, he made up his mind to try some liquor. Just taste it for experience's sake. So when it was time to leave at 6 PM, he announced, "Boys, I'm coming with you fellas to experience liquor." All his colleagues were dumbfounded. Some almost had a heart attack.
In contrast, some gave an I-knew-he-would-do-it-someday look. After regaining the natural Friday state of mind, Johny and his colleagues gathered at the parking lot and discussed the destination. Many options like the 13th floor, Old Spice, Solutions, Archer, Alter Ego, etc., came up. Finally, they settled on Old Spice. Johny had Googled the route for every pub. By 7 PM, they rolled out.
Dodging the Friday traffic, Johny and his colleagues landed at Old Spice. The experienced drinkers started with Budweiser. Everybody's eyes were on Johny. He had taken almost 15 minutes to decide on his drink. Ultimately, he chose orange juice. There was a sigh, and all went back to their conversations.
When the second round of drinks came up, Johny ordered Irish Carbomb. Everybody was stunned to madness. They advised him not to go 'hot' suddenly. But Johny was in 'the mood' tonight. He refused to heed and continued. When it arrived, Johny had no idea how to go about it.
Irish Carbomb, also known as 'The Depth Charge,' is one of the most popular drinks, incorporating whiskey. This potent drink requires a shot of whiskey to be dropped into a pint of Guinness Stout. The key to the glass is to consume it quickly, or the ingredients will curdle. Once this happens, the Depth Charge is increasingly more difficult to drink.
Johny waited a lot, then finished it in one gulp. His eyes went red. The heat radiated from his stomach across the whole body. He felt exhilarated. He waited for it to calm down. His mind was racing. His head was struck with only one thought, what the hell am I doing in software? "I like mathematics." He said, "WTF, man? I am here sitting coding like crazy for this shitty project. And what do I get? NOOOOO. NOOOOOTHING AT ALL. No project bonus. No project dinner. No onsite opportunities. For three years, I have worked my butt off. I worked seven days weekly for three weeks before every client's release. I made sure there was not any problem. What do I get? Thank You, Johny. Crap, all this is crap. I quit. I quit this damned job. I am going to study. I am going to teach. Do something good for my country." He sat back on his chair.
For the third round, he ordered Tequila.
Most of the team except Johny (7 Tequila shots) and Tim were left by midnight. By 1 AM, the bar announced the closure for the night. Johny paid the bill. He and Tim, drunk, started walking toward Johny's bike in their world. They didn't talk, just looked at each other's faces and laughed. Each had no idea how drunk they were. When they settled on their bike, Johny said, "Dude, if I am driving fast, just tell me, I'll slow down. I don't want to hurt you. You are already drunk to the hilt. Hold on to me tight. OK?". Tim nodded; Johny smiled and started the bike.
As Johny approached the main road, he saw the traffic police at a distance. Sensing danger, he asked Tim to drive. Tim gladly obliged and took the handle. After a couple of 100 meters, the police stopped their bike and tested for blood alcohol levels. Their levels were hitting the roof. Tim was sent to the police station, and their motorcycle was impounded. Johny was unharmed since he was pillion.
Now, he had a task at hand. He knew the police would let Tim off with some bribe. So, he took the officer to the corner and said, "my buddy's in your custody, and I accept that it's our mistake. This is our first time like this. Our team made us drink. By god, we haven't touched alcohol till today. Well, technically, that's not true cosh medicines contain alcohol. You know, some tonics for the common cold contain 0.17% alcohol. You can have one full bottle of it and feel the difference. Also, the aftershave that we use contains more than 80% alcohol. Sir, alcohol is everywhere, man. What. What no. No. No. No. What the bloody hell am I talking about? I am here to get Tim off the hook. Sorry officer, anyways, could you let him off with a warning? I'll pay you, don't book him. He's a real chum." The officer smelling nothing fishy, accepted the offer for 5000. Johny agreed without a word. It's a commonly known fact that drunkards typically tell the truth.
Johny opened his purse. Shit, no money. This is not good. "boss, wait for 15 minutes. I'll find some ATM and get the money ASAP."
"OK," the officer said, "15 minutes only, or else you will be in with your buddy".
"Yes, boss."
He walked lazily towards the nearest ATM that his mind could register. When he reached there, he inserted the card and entered his PIN.
"PIN invalid, please enter again. 1 out of 3 chances are done", the machine announced.
"Ah! What? OK. Pin's wrong. OK. I'll try again." He entered the pin again.
"PIN valid."
Johny followed the onscreen menu and entered 5000. The machined beeped for 5 seconds and returned his card along with a slip. It read, "Account Balance: ZERO."
Johny, "What the hell, man? You bloody machine, gimme my money. My bro's stuck in the hole, and you won't give me my money. I'll enter the details again, and if you don't gimme money, I'll destroy you."
His second attempt was futile. He started cursing the machine at the top of his voice, "You moronic zero-brained machines. Don't you understand that once a person enters his pin and amount, he wants his money, whether you like it or not? Stupid machine. I am a bigger moron than you are. Do you know why? Because I write codes on which you run. What an irony. Last chance. Please pity me and give me my money, or I'll complain to my mother. OK, you are a nice boy, right? Please give me my money. Last chance."
He entered his details only to be given another slip showing ZERO on his balance sheet. He still didn't remember paying the bill at the pub. He kicked the machine, stomped around the ATM booth, looked at the camera, and repeated his curse. The camera happily recorded his every movement. The security at the bank called the nearest police station. To Johny's bad luck, those officers were from the same police station where Tim spent his night. They cuffed and put him in jail with his buddy.
After a long time, at around 4 AM, Johny wished to speak to the officer after sobering up a little bit. So he struck a 'deal.' The officer said, "What's up, Johny? How is prison? Maybe tomorrow morning, you'll be in a better state. Take a rest."
"Sir, I have some money, but it's not hard cash. It's a little different. Could you just come here for a minute?"
"OK, Johny, let's see what you got."
Johny opened his purse, took out two small booklets, and dropped it into the officer's left pocket. Officer felt the "cash" hitting the bottom of his pocket. Satisfied, he smiled at Johny. He walked back to his chair. Put his hand into his pocket. Found the "cash" amidst many other "things." He brought it squarely in front of his eyes to see the "cash." The booklets were emblazoned with "Sodexo Meal Pass."
"Sodexo Meal Pass. Are you kidding me, boy? Spend the rest of the night here. Bloody hell, I can't get enough of these drunken techies. God!!!!"
--*--
13th floor – From the movie 13B
Old Spice – My deodorant spray
Solutions – From a book on my shelf
Archer – One of my preferred writers, Jeffrey Archer
Alter Ego – "Alter Ego, Methode de Francaise 1", my french textbook.
Original Post: https://antarayaami.wordpress.com/2010/06/26/tale-of-tequila/
