Just A Dare (lesbian love)

Chapter 12: Great Pretender

"We all know you're not, so stop pretending that you are." Leah joined in.

"Look, I was having a shitty day. I hang out with Dean and we end up getting drunk with his roommates. I decided to stay until morning because it wasn't the safest to drink and drive. What else you want me to say?"

"You could have told us to pick you up?" Julia argued.

Anna laughed mirthlessly. "What are you, my mother?"

"Anna, what's wrong with you?" Brian asked glaring at Anna.

"What's wrong with me Brian?" Anna stood up and poke Brian's chest. "What's wrong with me is that I'm so fucking tired of people poking their nose in my business. I'm so freaking tired with everyone's eyeing all of my moves and thinking that my sex life is their concern." With that, she glared at Julia. "But guess what, you can all talk about me as much as you want because, in two days, I'm outa here. Like, poof! I'm going back to where I belong." Everyone gasps in her outburst but Anna ignored them.

"You're leaving?" Julia's voice was broken and Anna suddenly felt guilty.

Anna sighed. "Yes, I'm leaving. I won't be able to finish the school year."

"But why?" Brian questioned.

"I got a job and I'm going to continue my studies there." Anna slumped in her seat, pulling her hair with her fingers.

"Does Macy know?" Julia asked looking at her with tears rolling down her face.

Anna rubbed her temple not really knowing what to do with her head starting to ache. "No, she doesn't." Anna replied guiltily.

"When did you decide on this?" She heard Leah asked.

"Last week."

"And you just decided to tell us now?"

"What do you want me to do? I know it will be like this when I tell all of you. Macy would've hated me, but I have no choice I need to go. I have no future here."

I have no reason to stay anymore. Anna thought.

Everyone became silent. Anna all can think about is one thing. "I'm sorry guys for not telling you. But I will never forget all of you. I'll keep in touch, I promised.

They didn't speak but they all stood up to hug Anna and she found herself crying for the first time in front of her friends.

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Anna decided not to go back to school she went out window shopping alone in the mall and go to the places she never had a chance to visit before. She thought about visiting those places before leaving. She knows that she'll never be going back to this place again.

When Anna went home, she was surprised to see Macy sitting in front of her apartment.

"Macy? What are you doing here? It's already late?" Anna asked as she opens the door.

She tried to pull Macy in but Macy pulled her hand away. "So you're leaving without even saying goodbye?" Macy asked crying.

"What?! Of course not. Please Macy come inside."

Macy didn't answer and or move. She just stares at Anna crying. Anna pulled her in her arms but Macy started punching her shoulder. Anna didn't let go until Macy calmed down but the smaller girl just keeps on sobbing in her chest.

Anna waited until Macy stopped crying before she gently pulls the girl inside her apartment. Anna guides her to the couch and lets Macy lie down with her head resting in the armrest.

Anna went into the kitchen and pour a glass of cold water. Anna helped Macy sit up and gave her water. Macy drinks the water but didn't speak. Anna sits down in the corner of the couch and she pulled Macy with her back against her chest.

Anna wraps the girl's body in her arms before she speaks. "I have to go. I have no plan of leaving without telling you but it was hardest of all to tell you goodbye."

"Why don't you stay?" Anna heard Macy whisper.

"Tell me one good reason for me to stay?" Anna answered with a question.

"Me." Macy mumbled softly.

Anna sighed. "We both know it is not good enough reason. I don't belong to this place. I like you a lot, but I know we'll never work out. You can never go against your family or your church. I don't want that life for you."

When she didn't hear any response, she continued. "I wanted nothing right now but to stay here with you forever, but that's just a dream and this is reality. I cared about you too much yet we pretended that nothings going on. I can't live like that, but even if we acknowledged my feelings for you or if you even actually return those feelings, it won't work out either way. I've already been through this before. I'd rather you have a normal life than you and me against your family."

Anna end her explanation and didn't hear anything from Macy except her silent sobs. Anna held her until the smaller girl fell asleep. Anna carried Macy to her bed and she laid down beside her. She wrapped her arms around her and silently wished that she can do it for the rest of her life. But she knows that is not possible, so she let herself be contented with their first and last night together and only hoped a better life for Macy until she fell asleep.

When Anna woke up, Macy was no longer beside her, then only that time she let herself cry. She cried herself until no tears came out of her eyes anymore.

Until the last night, she didn't even know if Macy liked her back or not. Macy didn't give her the satisfaction and Anna can only blame her sudden departure for it.

The rest of the day, Anna spent packing her things. She wrapped the photos she got in her stay in the small town. She prepared all the letters and gifts and decided to just mail them. She doesn't want to give them personally, too afraid of her bottled feelings bursting out again.

She'd rather face tomorrow and she decided to never look back.

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3 years later

Anna was about to go home from her work when she received a text from an unknown number.

Hi, Anna. How are you? I'm here in the city. I got your number from Julia. Can we meet sometimes? - Macy