The House of Bells: The Essences Saga - Book #1

House: Chapter 21

He stared, saying nothing.  I took more breaths and continued, “Silas, you once told me that I had no chosen profession and that I was impulsive.  You were right.  I didn’t know what I wanted in life.  I’ve been running around with my head chopped off for so long. But since coming here, I have found reason to my life.  I have found a home, and a family.  I love those girls more than anything, and want to give them the best possible years of their lives.  You unhinge me.  In too many ways.  Please, Silas.”

The blank stare fell.  His pain was my pain.  And it was unbearable.  In a frenzy, I tried to gentle my words.  “I know that doesn't sound like I don't care about you –”

“How was it supposed to sound?”  He asked, coarsely, irritation and resentment causing his brow to crash down on his eyes.

“I only mean…” I sighed, not sure how to phrase what I meant.  “I ... I don’t know how to tell you the right way.”

“Then just tell me.  Tell me out straight.  Don’t sugarcoat it for me.  Just tell me,” he said adamantly.  I opened my mouth, but no sound would come out.  My brain refused to find the right words.  Words that would say what I mean, without truly hurting him.  Every approach would only break his heart again.  The ability was not in me.

“Just say it, Min!”  He breathed out heavily, my rejection ringing in his ears, even though I hadn’t exactly told him, ‘No.’ But tempers in others had always brought mine to face.  His shouting shattered any attempt to be nice about it.  Too much fighting recently had finally taken its toll.  I became flushed, and my hands curled into fists by my side.  He always compelled the worst in me, in love and anger. 

My words came rushing out of me in staggered breaths.  With every syllable, I felt myself getting more and more livid, until I was practically spitting fire from my mouth.  “I can’t, Silas!  I won't!  I am not right for you!  I wish I could say it has been a mistake to take this job, but those girls are my world now.  It was a mistake to come here tonight.  I can’t give you what you want.  I can never be who you want me to be.  No magnitude of what you want to hear won’t change the fact that we – don’t – belong – together!”

With that, I practically ran out of the house, grabbing my bag from the entry and slamming the door.  I didn’t hear his bare feet behind me and didn’t even know if I left him statued in his precious Cave or if he followed me.  My car shot out of his driveway and raced through the streets, and my blood cooled as I drove further from his house, through the darkening streets. 

vvvvv

“...we – don't – belong – together!”  Her words bounced off the walls, soaking into the carpet, settling under his skin.

She left.  She ran out...ran away from him.  Just like Sarah did.  And he watched her go...just like he watched Sarah pack one suitcase and never look back.

Silas refused to fight for someone who didn't want him.  He didn't fight for Sarah.  He wouldn't...

No, Min is different.  She never intended to hurt anyone.

Sarah had been malicious and deceitful...evil and hateful in so many ways.  Min was everything that was right in the world...beauty, charm, intelligence, kindness, sacrifice...

That woman he would battle for...to the bottom of his grave.

Silas grabbed his cell phone from the desk charger and dialed Min's number.  Her own cell went straight to voice mail.  He dialed the House.  It rang...and rang and rang.

He stuffed his feet into a pair of shoes and unhooked his car keys from the hallway.  He dialed again.  He reversed at full speed out of his driveway.  He dialed again.