sacrifice sivan x tracob

1

a/n: a friend, @brokendaniel and i plotted together with a little something so here ya animals go. thank you miles, thank you troye, thank you jacob, love u queens. also, this story does contain a big trigger warning of homophobia, as troye and jacob are both centred in a gay conversion camp/academy throughout the story. pls keep in mind this is an au fanfiction and if you aren't wit it, that's okay, you do not have to read. those who would like to, hey sisters, bros, and all in between, i hope you enjoy this first taste of a story that will put things into perspectives of the reality about lgbtqa+ history and present day events. if you have questions or commentary, feel welcome to do as you please. alright, aaand here we go. x

Troye's pov

Coming to you from a deep sleep below the stars...

Lilac skies, I picture you and I. I don't even know you but I trust you so much. You may not even be real to anyone but me, but all that matters is us. We're alive, we're breathing, we look out for each other. You keep me together through this time of loving and hurting- you turn the tables around. You're the type of person who makes their own future- they're own destiny, they're own fate.

"And I think I need to make my own future with you," I admit, looking far out into the stars.

That's when you grab my hand. I look over and I just can't breathe at the sight of those hazel eyes and pursed lips, your hair falling down in your face. I-

I wake up, jolting up into a sitting position, hands to my throat as I choke on air. I gasp in and out quickly and I feel as though I've just had a night terror, my entire body coated in cold sweats. What was that?

"What does this mean...?" I whisper to myself, careful not to wake anyone in the house. My family would Not appreciate me waking them at such an hour, to say the least. A quiet and sheltered Christian family, we are.

Why was I dreaming... of a boy?

He was calling out for me and I just- I swear I knew this boy. I knew him and he seemed to know me, I just don't know what to make of this. As the hyperventilating comes on, I lean back against my headboard and cradle myself into my knees, shaking as I let soft tears fall down. I feel this longing for a boy I don't even know.

Why does this always have to hurt so much? I go to sleep, I fall into a deep sleep, and my mind unwinds my sweetest fantasies. You see, I just can't accept these desires of mine. I'm not allowed to. My name is Troye Mellet, and I'm one of the most closeted gays you may ever meet.

So I let myself cry this bad dream off, even if it is my favourite part of the day, and pull out my laptop from under my bed. It feels like it cost my soul to buy this baby, but this is my escape. I open it and unlock the screen, my password so faithfully being my last name, and launch my favourite website up to lose myself in other people's words. Other's truths. I'm on wattpad, and I'm clicking on my most recent read in my library. I last left off on this couple's last night together before they moved miles away. They're soft, they're sweet, they're gentle, and oh are they in love.

They know how hard it can be to love while not face to face and they know how hard it is to give your heart to someone through a few messages on a screen, yet they still do it. They decide their own future and they are fearless as they know if they are together, there is nothing they can't do.

A beautiful love story, if only it didn't break my heart so bad that every story I read is about gay men. Through the chapters and the series, these authors just make it seem so easy, so doable. As if I could ever fall in love, better yet, with the true gender I find endearing. A sleepy sigh later, I kiss one of my favourite stories goodnight and decide I should get just a bit more shut-eye before church that is in just a few hours. Goodnight, moon, I adore you.