Addicted To You.

Before him..

''My name is Danielle. I am 24 years old and I am telling you the story of my life, there is nothing special about me, there is not a particular reason you would be interested in knowing about me, but I believe I have a story to tell. A story that may be like many others that are untold well I am telling you mine, its a story about My hard times growing up, Being the youngest of 4 , meeting the love of my life, the hatred I have felt, the Betrayal, the forgiveness and where I am today.''

No worries, No responsibilities, I did not know back then what my life would bring, would I tell myself to take a different path? Could I do that? No I simply could not.

I loved everything about being young, everything about it, going out on our bikes, playing in mud, I was a very successful mud pie maker, The friendship always seemed so real, like it was going to last forever, I often think back to my old Street in Tenacre lane, Whether or not any kids play in that same street anymore, We loved playing gutter ball, tag was my personal favourite, I even loved Primary school. When me and my sister Hayley would walk side by side every morning walking down what seemed like such a long slide road, it was so high at the stop and flowed down, seemed like we walked forever and would dread finishing school to have to walk back up it. Looking at it now, Its a simple hill, but to us it was like a mountain we hated to climb everyday. My Mom Claire didn't drive, My Dad did but for as long as I can remember school he has never taken me. I have a different Dad to My sister Hayley and other siblings, Bethany the eldest and Justin, then Hayley and lastly me, and I also have 2 Step siblings from my Dad's side, Janine and David.

I always felt like I never experienced girly things when I was younger, Bethany would always dress Hayley up and comment on how she would be a beautiful model someday, but myself I wasn't the prettiest girl. I did always love having my hair played with, it was so soothing to me, We knew this girl who had hair as long as a horse's tail, I used to love to brush it, I dreamed of having hair as long and as beautiful, I could of all brushed it all day. I was classed as a Tom boy when I was younger, I was mainly hanging around with boys than girls, I had a few crushes, but i waa never looked at in that way, I was always there friend. Justin and I got closer as I got older, he liked to get me into trouble, I asked him once ''Justin what is a wanker??. to which he replied. ''Go and ask mom!. I did not have the most respectful mouth when I was younger, My mom chased me around the house with some soap when I first dared the words ''C U Next Tuesday! My Mom is someone to be admired, We never had everything but we never went without, We were my Mom's priority, She always worked so hard to provide for me and my siblings, she has made us who we are today, and I have so much to thank her for. She divorced my Dad when I was 5. I do not remember much from that time, I remember arguments, I remember my Dad turning up so drunk he kicked right through our front door to get to me, My mom had already told him he was not to have me that night but he insisted, and being drunk made it worse, it always does. My mom called the police while a young me and Hayley were upstairs, Drink was involved in my life at a early age, and has stayed with me. I saw my dad on weekends until I was 14, despite all the stories my mom told me about my Dad, 'He will let you down Danielle' but I didn't listen, I still worshipped him and had a father daughter bond like no other, and I would defend him to anyone, mainly my siblings and Mom, I would always feel safe, My mom made us feel safe but my other siblings did not have there Dad's in there life and I felt so grateful to have mine in my life, I felt lucky, and sympathized with my other siblings but to me My Dad was just mine, an nothing and no one was going to take him from me. I was wrong, It was your typical Dad meets a new woman, Child is raging with jealousy. My memory's of her are not bad but my first instincts were to hate her, she is taking my Dad from me, I wanted to be his only girl, It seems so stupid now, but we were so close and to my younger self it seemed like he was slipping away, My Dad would always call me his princess, but not your normal Cinderella or Amora. He used to call me ''Ankhesenamun'' from a movie we loved called 'The Mummy'. My Dad married his new bride shortly after. I remember asking my Dad one day when he was walking me home on a Sunday morning 'Do I have to call her Mum? he replied '' No Danielle, You Only have ONE mum, remember that! and I always did. 

Every weekend my Dad would take me to our local Labour club, without fail I would sit there while he drank and played bingo, eating my Cheese and onion cob with my vimto, whenever I was bored he would give me some money to play on the machines, Funky monkey was my all time favourite game. But as I got older I noticed the lack of interest, he was not interested in time with me, he just wanted the same thing every weekend, Drinking, Bingo and then more and he would always drive when he had been drinking We walked occasionally when he had too much but that was never often, I never questioned it when I was younger, I never felt like I was in danger, therefore never mentioned it to my Mom. Accidents happen every day though drink driving, to think of it now it's terrible and one of my last memories coming back in his car from the labour club was horrific. ''Dad you ok? Dad??..... DAD!!! The car started to roll as I Left the car, my dad had opened the door to get out but as he did the car began to move, he was in a drunk state so the only thing he did was put his hands of the floor, scraping his hands on the floor as the car moved down the sloped hill. I was so scared. I held on the back of the car like I had the strength of Superman and could magically stop the car from moving, but I was trying all I could, but my feet starting to slip with the car and I only got more and more scared. he managed to pull himself up and put the hand break on that his forgot to do when he stopped the car. I have many memories of my Dad drinking there was also onetime My Dad was walking me down the road one Saturday night with his wife aswell, I knew he had not eaten anything, I was getting more and more aware of his drinking problem and the states he would be in, but at this point and he was wobbling side to side, bumping into walls and nearly falling, and when we were in his street going to the flat I stayed in every Saturday night, He fell forward and smacked his face on the ground, I screamed for my dad, I was so scared he had knocked himself unconscious. he stood up and his whole face was covered in blood, I started to cry, I did not know what to do, I was walking by his side holding on to his arm to support him even though I was just a child, We made our way into the flats, he was holding the banister for support, smearing his blood all up the railings as he took step by step up to the door, as we walked in he headed straight for the bathroom, I saw her had the smallest cut on his nose, 'How was there so much blood from that? I thought to myself Being a naive child and not knowing Alcoholics usually have thin blood. but His wife saw my face and saw that I was scared and so upset, she handed me a towel and instructed i get all the blood off the banister. this is when I wanted something to change... 

Hope you enjoyed my first chapter :) Means a lot to tell my story...