No love lost.

Chapter 1

Ellianna in the picture above

Today marks 2 years since I've found out my father has stage 4 lung cancer . Every now and than I get emotional because I know he will be leaving me. It seems like yesterday I was in him arms having not a care in the world now here I am today depressed with suicidal thoughts on an everyday basis.
    I was now staring at my butterfly ceiling in my bedroom. My walls were painted my favorite color purple with my off white bedroom set. In a couple months I'll be headed off to college and to say I'm nervous was an understatement. I took a year off to prepare for this big change ahead of me and it seems like I'm still unprepared as fuck.
     My alarm went off signaling me that it was time to start my day. I'm always up before I'm actually suppose to be up if you know what I mean. I gathered my hygiene products and made my way into the bathroom in my one story house that I called home. It wasn't much but it is what it is. I turned on my playlist and put it on shuffle, it seems like music is the only thing that gets me these days. I ran the shower and brushed my teeth while letting it heat up, once the bathroom became foggy I removed my clothes and hopped in the shower, singing along to the tunes that blared from my phones speakers. I got carried away with my thoughts and stayed longer in the shower than I intended to. Realizing I was in the shower for quite a while I turned the nobs to turn the shower off and wrapped a towel around my body while stepping out into my slides. I hate when I touch the ground with my bare feet fresh out the shower it makes me feel dirty inside. Stepping in front of the mirror I looked at myself taking in all my flaws that I hate so much like why can't my skin glow naturally and why don't I have nice cheek bones. I do this everyday you would think I'd be over my flaws already.
    Once I was dry I moisturized my skin with coconut oil and searched for a pair of scrubs to wear to work today. I'm a licensed cna and currently work at a nursing home taking care of my babies well my patients but they are my babies I look forward to seeing them everyday. I love caring for them it makes me feel needed. I settled for a purple pair and begin to put them on I put my hair into a messy bun and gathered my things I'll need for work today and got my keys prepared to lock the door but not before telling my dog I'll see her when I get off.

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  Before I went to work I stopped at subway so I could eat while driving to work since I didnt have time to sit down and eat. While waiting in line I was debating on what to eat I decided on a blt on Italian bread. While waiting in line to pay a man came in standing behind me, Jesus he was fine but I had to go and nobody would want me anyways. Making my way to the front of the line I paid for my food and begin my journey to my car. After settling in my car I begin to eat my fat ass couldn't wait to eat while stuffing my face I made eye contact with the man who was behind me and he smirked at me. I cautiously put my head down and drove away fast from the parking lot.
  Making it to work with 5 minutes to spare I clocked in and sat and ate the rest of my sub sandwich while scrolling through my twitter timeline. My favorite janitor walked into the break room and we spoke with one another about how each other's day was going so far. He was a really handsome man but I'm much too young and I'm trynna focus on myself for a while, but he's nice. When I saw the time going on 10 I scurried off to the floor to begin my duties for the day. While walking to the floor one of the nurses stopped me to ask if I could give Mrs. Jewel a shower before diner today I just nodded my head and went to work like I always do. I never really say much, but when I do everyone is always so amazed like they haven't heard words before.
  While getting Mrs. Jewel things ready for her shower a new janitor was being showed around the building I didnt really pay the tourist of nurses any mind while I was searching through the linen closet for towels. I was struggling to reach the top shelf when I almost had the towel I felt a presence behind me which startled me and I immediately turned around and was face to face with the man from the subway line. Jesus why do you keep making me meet this man in awkward situations 🙄.

"Well hello Ms. Ellianna" the mystery man said with a smile.
"Umm. . . Hello" I said in a more questionable tone, trynna figure out if we knew each other prior to this day. He gave me the towel I was struggling to get my hands on. He just stared at me for a few more seconds before speaking which kind of made me uncomfortable because it was like he was trying to stare into my soul. I quickly moved around him to tend to my dear Jewel.
"It's nice seeing your beautiful face again today, I'm Greg, I'll be working here for now." I simply waved and told him to have a nice day while bringing Jewel into the shower room. Our eyes were on one another during the entire transition. He indeed was something nice to look at while being at work.