Andrew was sitting in his basement, trying to plan a huge blowout for The Bachelor premiere. Every single person in school thought Colton was really cute. He tried coming up with ideas, but he was having trouble. He decided phoning a friend would help spark inspiration. It was that moment in time Andrew realized he had exactly zero friends. He sucked in his pride and stomach fat as he called Ronnie. Ronnie picked up on the first ring, "Hello?" Andrew clenched his teeth, "I'm having a small get-together for The Bachelor premiere. Will you help me with ideas?" Ronnie replied, "I'll be right over." Andrew quickly said, "No, no. We can just text." Ten minutes later, the door bell rang. Andrew hit his mom on his way to the door. When he opened it, his eyes widened, "YOU BROUGHT JEFF?!" Ronnie scoffed, "No. This is my boyfriend, Rudy Valentino." Valentino nervously laughed, "I wouldn't say boyfriend. We're very casual." Ronnie felt hot tears come to his eyes, "So, I put out and the only thing I get in return is a non exclusive relationship?" Andrew interrupted their argument, "Hush! The other guests will be arriving soon." The door bell rang again. Versace, Donatella, and Ricky Martin rushed in like beasts. Andrew gave a forced smile, "Welcome! Did you see David outside?" Then, Jeff walked in. Andrew wiped sweat from his back rolls, "Is David with you?" Jeff nodded, "Yeah. He's a little behind because he's getting a present out of the car." Andrew blushed, "He remembered my gift for Ukrainian Christmas?" David came in with a giant box. Andrew took it, "Thank you so much, boo." David turned his head, "You're gonna give Lee his gift?" Andrew gave a confused look, "Huh?" Jeff said, "It's Lee Miglin's half birthday. This is our gift to him." Lee kitty-walked over, "Thanks you so much, Andy!" Andrew tensed up, "OKAY. Let's do something fun before the three hour premiere." Ricky Martin raised his hand, "Remember that fake Bachelor game we did on field day? Let's just do that again." Andrew said, "Whatever. Who wants to be the bachelor?" Ronnie evilly glared at Valentino, "I'll do it. I'm single anyway." Valentino stood up, "Amore mio, we're in a committed relationship." Ronnie tucked his hair behind his ear, "Oh. I guess I misunderstood you earlier. My fault." Andrew sighed, "Thank God because I don't think anyone wants to date Ronnie." David shrugged, "I'll do it." Andrew jumped up, "Good! Versace, you host." Versace cleared his throat, "Let's start, lol." Andrew made his entrance, "Hello, David. I'm Andrew and I am a surgeon, accountant, lawyer, and fashion designer. I can't wait to engage in holy nuptials with yee." David softly smiled, "I like math." Jeff was next. He took David's hands, "I can't wait for this experience and I'm really excited." David smiled, "Me too." Andrew came out, "Sorry to interrupt, but I don't think my entrance was long enough." Instead of doing something, Andrew just stood there, smiling without his eyes. David gave side eye, "Next?" Donatella swerved in, rocking giant Beats. David said, "Hello." She shouted, "I WOKE UP IN CHRIS BROWN'S BODY, SOMEHOW THIS SHIT TURNED INTO FREAKY FRIDAY!" She ignored him and dougied in the house. The last contestant was Ricky Martin. He just ran in the house, full speed. Versace took David inside, "Alright, ladies. Time for cocktail hour. Remember, the first impression rose is on the table." Andrew pulled David aside right away, "There's a priest outside. We can get married right now." David asked, "What are some of your interests?" After a twenty minute conversation, Ricky Martin asked, "Mind if I cut in?" After five seconds, Andrew went up to them, "Sorry to barge in. Can we finish our conversation?" After another hour, Donatella pushed Andrew, "My turn." After five seconds, Andrew said, "Sorry, mind if I cut in? I don't think we got enough time." Versace shouted, "THE PREMIERE IS ON IN FIVE MINUTES! David, please give out your first impression rose now." Andrew smugly smiled. David said, "Well, I have to give it to the person who made the best impression. And that person is... Jeff." Andrew turned into a gigundo beast and poured grape juice all over the cable box, ruining everyone's night. Don't worry, though. Lee Miglin just looked up spoilers. Boring!
