Simply Sinful (Boyxboy)

13) Gianluca the Obsessive

"Don't worry," Sophia says, "he doesn't know. I want to tell you a story Nicca. It began 18 years ago when a young boy sees his father hitting his mother.

This boy watched his mother suffer each day for three years. Whenever he asked if she was okay, his mother would smile and tell him that things would get better and he needn't worry.

The older the boy got, the more he realized that his mother was feeding him a bunch of pretty lies. So, he decided to talk to his father.

He asked his father why he hit his mother. Do you know what the man said to his son?" I shake my head no.

"His father told him that sometimes you have to discipline the ones you love to make sure they stay faithful. For a while, the boy believed his father's words.

He started to ignore his mother's bruised and bloodied face. He ignored the broken bones and cries for help. His mother tried to tell him that love shouldn't leave marks or cause pain. Love was wondrous and amazing.

The boy didn't know what to think. It was several years later when the boy witnessed his father's brutality that he started to change his view.

He swore that he would never let his father hit his mother again. That promise would eventually haunt him.

Two days shy of his 13th birthday, the boy walked in on his father beating his mother. He watched as his father wrapped his hands around his mother's neck and squeezed."

Sophia's eyes began to water as she recounted the story. I could only listen and wonder what this story had to do with my predicament. Sophia dabs at her eyes with a napkin.

She apologies before starting again. "The boy wasn't sure what he should do. He could hear his mother cries. He saw the calm in her eyes as she prepared to die.

The boy noticed his father's gun sitting on the bedside table. He reached out and placed the gun in his small hands. He didn't think about what he was doing. He only knew that he had to do it.

He pulled the trigger. The recoil was too much for the boy and the bullet missed. His father turned around to face the boy. He loosens his grip on the mother.

He demands to know what the boy is doing. Tells him to put the gun down. The boy tells his father to stop hurting his mother.

His father laughs. He tightens his hold on the mother. He laughs maniacally, taunting the boy to shoot him if he wanted to save his mother.

The boy grew up in that instant. He walked over to his father. Placed the gun to the back of his head and fired. At that distance, he knew he wouldn't miss."

Tears visibly fall from her eyes. She wipes her eyes. "He couldn't handle what he did," she sobs. "He wanted to die along with his father. I told him that he saved me. I would have died.

Gianluca wasn't the same after that. He was an empty shell. That's until he met Nathaniel. Nathaniel changed him. He helped him grow, to love.

I didn't even care that my son was in love with another boy. I was just happy that he was his old self again. Being gay isn't something that's acceptable.

I told Gianluca that if he was strong and proved himself it wouldn't matter. They would accept him, but he had to be ruthless. Nathaniel gave him a reason to live."

"What happened to Nathaniel," I ask.

"He broke Gianluca's heart without meaning to. Gianluca loved Nathaniel. He did, but he becomes jealous so easily. Nathaniel was a flirt, but I know he loved Gianluca just as much.

Gianluca lets his jealousy take control of him. He did something he regretted soon after." She pauses. "That's why I warned you. I'm not just looking out for Gianluca but you and that boy as well.

If Gianluca finds out about him do you think he'll let you live. He'll kill you after he forces you to watch him kill that boy."

What do you do with this information? I didn't know. I'm not Nathaniel. I just want to be happy. Is that so wrong. What does his mother expect me to do?

I can't excuse Gianluca's behavior because of what he witnessed all those years ago. If anything, Sophia should be telling him to seek help.

It's not okay. Abuse will never be okay. Gianluca is just like his father. I can't change who is.

"I'm not Nathaniel." My voice comes out in a whisper. She never looks up. Her hands twist the napkin between them.

"Can't you explain that to Gianluca," I ask. "He'll listen to you." Even to my ears it sounds like begging.

Sophia removes a small frame from her pocket. She passes the frame to me. A picture shows Gianluca kissing a boy on his cheek. It looks to have been taken several years ago.

I close my eyes then open them again. I'm not sure I see the truth of the picture. The boy Gianluca is kissing looks remarkably like me.

Photoshop is amazing these days. This picture can't be real.

"Shut your mouth Nicca," Sophia says and giggles. "The picture is real. That's Nathaniel. So do you really think I can get my son to believe that you're not him when you're so similar."

I look back down at the picture. My eyes look over Nathaniel. He had the messy black hair, like me. The gray eyes that probably changed from light or dark based on mood. Even our height and build were the same.

He seemed so happy being with Gianluca. So in love with him. I would never be able to show that level of sincerity. I swallow the lump in my throat and ask the dreaded question.

"What exactly happened to Nathaniel? You said Gianluca did something he regretted." I'm not sure I want to hear the answer. I can guess. I've seen for myself Gianluca cold and ruthless demeanor.

I've witness first hand his anger. I can still feel his hands on my neck, my head banging against the wall.

"Nathaniel is dead. Luca killed him. Luca tried to save him, but the head trauma was just too severe. My son didn't mean to do it. He loved Nathaniel. Sometimes love makes you do crazy things.

Gianluca is sorry for what he did. Since he met you, I've actually seen him smile again. You agreed to follow the rules. Do not force Gianluca's hand. Break up with this Abel and stop all communication between you two.

If you do that, I'll makes sure Gianluca doesn't find out about him. You may even grow to love Luca. You won't know until you try. You can't run from him."

She says the last part with no hint of any emotions. It's a warning. I hate that she's justifying her son's action.

I need to figure out what I value most: a life of sadness and heartbreak or love that leads to death.