Squad

Squad/chapter1

(Sensitive content)

Y/n's POV:
I've only been at this school for a few days and already I'm having a hard time adjusting.

"Y/n, hey girl your looking hot today!" My new friend Courtney said. I looked at myself and I guess I didn't look so bad..

We walked down the hall of the school when I noticed these 4 people walking across from me and Courtney.

Two of the guys looked cute, almost hot actually but I'm not looking for anyone right now, especially with the things I've been through. Plus they both looked like fuck boys, just stating the obvious...they were twins too, dang.

"Who are those people?" I asked as me and Courtney walked passed them. One of the guys gave me a look, I guess a 'sexy look' and let me tell you, it was daring even looking, the one thing I really took notice though was his eyes. Hazel...He looked really dangerously intimidating in a good way.
But like I said again, I'm not looking for anyone right now...

"They're called Squad, no one really knows why.." I nodded as we walked to our next class, sadly this one class we're not in together but it's close by mine.

I walked into the classroom and didn't really pay much attention to anyone else, the only face I recognized was one person. It was one the person in that 'Squad group' I sat down beside him, or her? I guess trans, he/she is super beautiful, too bad I didn't have the courage to wear makeup so freely like he does.

"H-hi I'm Y/n" I said seating myself beside him, he smiled "I'm James, nice to meet you
Y/n...so how are you liking it here so far?" I guess he knows I'm new, is it really that obvious?... "Well it's not so bad I guess, it's better than where I used to live" James looked at me confused like he was waiting for me to say more. "Umm, im in foster care, so.." his expression changed, I can see the sympathy in his face, "I'm sorry about that Y/n, you should hang out with me and the squad sometime" I smiled and nodded agreeing, I guess it shouldn't be so bad at this new place.

-

Lately it's been so hard for me to cope with all these feelings I have built up inside. Me living with people I barely know, moving from house to house cause one doesn't work or something happens. Bad things happen. At my last foster home I had in incident, sometimes I blame myself even though I know it wasn't my fault.

My 'Forster dad'...he tried raping me, but before he could my Forster brother saved me, he's basically my hero, once people found out what happened I got moved and so did my foster brother, I still live with the ptsd and anxiety from all of it, and most of all I cry every damn night wishing I could see my Forster brother one more time to see his face, my hero that saved me so I wouldn't have to live with what would have happened if he came later than the time he did...
This sounds crazy but I am going to find my foster brother, I have to.

Sometimes I wish I never even was born, what am I here for? I can't even look at a guy without feeling that pit in my stomach like they're going to attack me like what happened with my foster dad. I don't even want to call him that I want to call him a fucking child predator. But something was different about that guy I've seen today with James, yeah sure he had looks but his eyes tell a greater story than what he looks like.

-

James POV:
"Guys I met this girl today her name is Y/n she's so sweet, maybe she"

"James do you remember what happened last time a 'new girl' introduced herself to you? What if Y/n or something is the same?" Of course Emma had to say something, but I know Y/n isn't like what they think, even I can see
Y/n is different from most girls at this damn school, all the girls are are shallow shady bitches, no offence, It's just the truth. "Trust me with this kitty girl, she's different"

"I hope so" Ethan scoffed taking the fry I was about to eat from my hand. I rolled my eyes and we continued to talk about random stuff like usual.

-

Y/n's POV:
Finally schools over I can take a bath and go to bed since it's Friday and I deserve a nice long bath to actually let my mind free from the stress that life has passed onto me to deal with. Like I can actually go another day with all this bullshit...

This new house I live at isn't all so bad, my foster mom is great, well at least I try to make myself believe...in the morning my Forster dad and mom are fine, like normal 'parents would be..but when they come home late night they're always drunk or at least one of them...and when they're drunk they loose their temper, it's either they both fight each other or one of them fight me, or say things that really fuck me up mentally...

I sat in the bath and closed my eyes letting the heat from the water swarm my skin from my feet to my chest.

I heard the door slam, I locked myself in the bathroom so no one could get in. "Y-y/n get the fuck out of there!" I hear my step mom yell at me. I felt my heart start to beat faster and my anxiety take over my body, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want this to happen again. Not again. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE NOW!" This time she sounded deathly threatening. Fuck, please not again.

I quickly got out the bath and dried myself up putting my night gown on and walking towards the door with damp hair and fear running through my whole body, I knew what was coming and that's  triggering.

I opened the door to feel a hard sting across my left cheek, pain flooding in shortly after.
"Get out, I need the fucking bathroom you whore, don't piss me off" my Forster mom Lara slurred at me. I smelt the deep alcoholic breath from her mouth as she walked pass me and slammed the door. I touched my cheek feeling the throbbing pain from the hard merciless slap she left me with. Not even a "hi Y/n" and this is already starting? God damnit...

I walked to my room, and laid on my bed thinking to myself. How do I always get myself into these messes? How do I always end up in such a dark place? A place where I'm never approved of, A place where I feel like I can't be myself? A place where I don't feel safe? A place that isn't home...

I cried myself to sleep like usual to the loudest thoughts wondering what tomorrow would be like, or what it would be like to live another day on this damn cruel earth...

_________________word count 1080___
A/n: I know this is starting off intense but honestly this is the life people live, I'm trying to make this seem more real rather than some type of fantasy if that makes sense? Whoever is reading this maybe one person, 3 people? 40? 10? If your going through a hard time know that things will get better and life isn't always what you think it is. 💛💛💛-Jen