Confession

Life altering confession

Okay I know it sounds a bit crazy but I want to make a confession.

It's very cowardly of me to make a personal confession under my pen name. But hey, at least I figured it out and am trying to confess.So here it goes.

I think I chose the wrong profession. I am half way through getting my bachelors degree and would have to pay a hell lot of bond money to change or quit.

But I am not going to quit. I don't know whether it is because I'm afraid my dad will go berserk or that it is a noble profession and that's what I always wanted to do, to help people, so if I back out of it and I'll be regretting it in the future.

I don't know how I didn't see it earlier. I always was a big fan of reading and writing. Reading stories took me into another world, a world I wouldn't mind getting lost into. After finishing a story I would always put myself in the story, try and think what happens to the character after their happily ever after and think of one in those stories wherein there were none.

I always had a story going on in my mind at any given point of time be it the one I was reading at the moment or a story woven inside from the different stories going in and around my little world.

Even now as I have grown up I can't go without reading some story for long.

Writing just comes along the way.

So today when I was having a long hot water bath to calm my nerves before my impending doom, my exams, I realized I chose the wrong profession.

The signs were clear, bright as day, I failed and didn't have much interest in academics as much as when I was reading or writing stories. The warm fuzzy feeling I got when I was reading or writing and creating stories was never there when reading my course books. It's like being in love with someone and marrying someone else.

See what I did? I made a story with my own dilemma.

But to think I'm at an impasse would not be right, because I love interacting with patients and diagnosing stuff and I just have to study some more to be able to do what I love without restrictions and in a much better way.

Though my decision to continue with my course remains, I wouldn't stop writing.

Cheers to fighting back!

P.S. I'm not out of my mind. I said fighting back for my depressing thoughts which render me incapable of studying and no matter what decision I make  I have to pass my exam which is tomorrow.