Amelia Barnes: Winter's daughter

Bucky: 1

When I saw her and saw the emptiness in her eyes, the emptiness I felt for seventy years, I knew she was the one I was gonna adopt.

Amelia is my daughter.

She was fourteen when I adopted her, and she's nineteen now. She's been a proud soldier for a year, and it all came crashing down when she lost her right arm. She's so strong, she'll overcome this. But she doesn't want a prosthetic arm.

She can learn to use her left hand, she can go to physical therapy, she can-

"Dad," Amelia says, looking at me dead in the eyes. "Yeah?"

"Stop thinking about it. It's over. My whole career, the existence of my right hand, my ability to write and draw, everything I had going for me is gone. So can we please, please stop talking about it?"

She says, and her eyes are just as empty as they were before I adopted her.

"Are you sure you don't want a metal arm?"

"Positive."

I nod. "Okay."

"I love you, dad." She says quietly.

"I love you, too, kiddo."

She moves to sit next to me, and sort of leans against me with her shoulder on her amputated side. I hug her with my flesh arm, and she leans against my shoulder and...cries? I've never seen her cry.

I'm crying now, too. Thinking about all the things she can't do now because I didn't stop her from enlisting in the army... It hurts me. It pains me.

And then Ella walks in and Amelia quickly dries her tears, gets up, and Ella hugs her. They go, probably off to some thrift shop, and I'm alone with my thoughts.

"Dad," Amelia says, poking her head through the door. She smiles as if she wasn't just crying into my shoulder, and says "Try not to get too lost in your own mind, okay? I know you well enough to know you'll get nightmares if you stay too long."

***

I know she's right. If I'm left alone for too long I'll have nightmares.

So I go to Wanda. She and Vision are fighting again. They loved each other so much, but it looks like they're coming to an end. I knock. Wanda opens the door and smiles brightly. "Hi, Bucky." She says. "Hey. I wanted to see if you needed a break for a while. Ella and Amelia are away so..." She nods. "Let me get my bag." She closes the door and Vision glares at me before phasing through the wall. I hear the argument, but I don't know what to do. I turn around and walk away.
***

I find Amelia and Ella in a thrift shop run by a friend of Amelias...Jasmine? Jessie? Jane? Yeah. Its Jane. "Hey, girls." I say, coming up behind them, Ella is helping Amelia tie a pair of ballet slippers. "Why do you wear those if you never learned ballet?" I ask. "Aunt Natasha has been coaching me since I was fifteen. Sorry we never told you." She says, and I turn to Ella. "Ella, you should know your parents are fighting again." I say. "Okay. Cool. Thanks for telling me." She says quietly. "Once the divorce is final you and my mom should date. She seems to trust you." I laugh. "You realize I'm gay, right?" She looks up at me. "I know you aren't straight. I just thought you were bisexual or something." She says. "Nope." I say, popping the "p." They giggle. I just came out to my daughter and her friend.

God my life is fucked up.