At the Top of My Lungs (Gerard Way fanfiction)

Memories Of Fields and Why I Am Not a Good Person to Kidnap

Chapter 4

What am I going to do?

Escape is impossible. Gerard proved that.

My only option is to sit here and wait for him to come back. And then what? Is he going to kill me? Rape me?

What was his plan?

I begin to think of everything he could do. The torture I might have to endure.

No. Stop thinking about that. It will just make things worse.

I shake the thoughts from my head and try to focus on something positive.

A memory crosses my mind. I go to it and reach, until- yes.

Suddenly I am in a open field, under a solitary oak tree. Spring has just begun, and flowers are spurting from bushes to say hello. I turn my head, and Brendon is lying next to me. He looks about 13, his hair is still long and he hasnt gotten his braces removed yet.

"Chris?" he asks. I inwardly giggle; his voice cracked in the middle of my name.

"Yeah?" I reply.

"D'ya think I should play a sport in highschool?"

"Since when do you play sports?"

"I dont, its just," he lets out a sigh. "Its just that my dad wants me to play basketball."

"Are you even good at basketball?" I feel him shrug his shoulders next to me.

"What about choir?" I ask.

"I can always do both I guess."

"Then do both." I say, and the conversation is over. We both go back to our silent reveries.

I wonder why that is the memory my mind came up with. I open my eyes and Im still in the basement. The bright sun of the field makes this place seem even worse.

And yet, I feel calmer. It's funny how the most insignificant moments can mean so much later.

I sigh, thinking about Brendon. He gave choir up halfway through freshman year.

Sometimes my mind gives me memories I dont want, like when my mother didnt recognize my father amd he cried the whole way home. And each one is so vivid, I can recall exactly what was said, who was present, and even what they were wearing.

But it isnt on demand, sadly. I think I would've gotten much better grades if I was able to recall everything so easily.

I stand up and pat out my dress a bit. It has crumpled a little, and there is a large dirt mark on the chest area.

I am going to survive this. I dont know how, but I am.

And if it gets to be to much? Suicide was an option before, and it is now.

I look up at the piped lining the ceiling. If need be, I could use to cord attatched to the lightbulb.

Honestly, this man thinks he is taking so much away from me? The only thing I miss is Brendon. The rest of my life is pretty pitiful. I almost laugh at the thought of my captor sitting up in his house, planning on how he is going to ruin my and everyone who loves me lives. But thats not going to happen.

Reality is that my father might finally do something stupid without me around and end up in jail. But, that will probably end up happening as soon as I leave for college. Woah, if I leave for college. Dont hope too much there Chris.

Brendon and his parents would probably be really sad. Brendon would move on eventually though; he didnt depend on me as much as I depended on him.

Wait, why am I thinking as if I am already dead?

Whatever, my mother would probably never find out. Wasn't losing one of her children what pushed her off of the edge in the firstplace? No, the facility she was in wouldnt tell her.

And thats the end of the very short list of people that care about me. I mean, I imagine someone at school would probably notice I was gone, maybe even be a little sad. Probably because of Brendon though, and what he was going through, not me.

Why couldnt that bitch stay alive? She was a lame excuse for a friend in the first place, but she just had to go and get kidnapped.

I can actually picture some of the girls who have given Brendon "the eye" saying that.

But back to the point, if this guy is thinking he is going to hurtle a whole town into some depressing drama movie, he sure is in for a rude awakening.