Stolen Hearts (2012 Wattys Finalist)

Chapter 18 - No Choice At All

He didn’t know what else to do so he said, “Well, I guess I’ll work out now,” and left. As he walked through the sitting room, he heard her crying again.

Instead of working out, he laid in his bed for a few hours. He tried every way he could to figure out a solution to the horrible mess he’d made but there seemed to be no way to fix things. He knew what would make her happy, what she wanted, but it was too dangerous to allow. He was living in a nightmare with no way out.

When he finally left his bedroom to work out, he was dismayed to find Georgie’s door closed and the flat quiet. She wasn’t doing the laundry. He tried to console himself, thinking maybe the best thing would be to leave her for the day and let her rest in her room. Yesterday, he’d made her do her schedule and it hadn’t seemed to help her much, maybe this would be better for her.

After he worked out and dressed, he gathered the laundry together and did it for her. The rest of the time he spent lying on his bed staring at the ceiling, overwhelmed with pain and worry, trying to think of a solution and coming up with nothing.

He waited past the usual time for her to come to his door to get him to cook dinner, but she never came so he went to her door and knocked. After a minute, the door slowly opened. She had her eyes on the floor, looking just as depressed as she had in the morning.

“Let’s make dinner, Georgie,” he said gently.

She didn’t say anything and after a hesitation, he started for the kitchen and she followed him. When they got to the kitchen, she seemed to come to, and started pulling things out of the fridge to cook. It made him feel a little better.

They worked in silence, but the tension between them was thick. The entire time, he was acutely aware of where she was in the room, as if her body was tied to his. He realized he missed her terribly. He wasn’t used to spending so much time away from her. This was what he’d lost by fucking everything up, he thought harshly.

When they sat down to eat, Robert kept his eyes on his plate so he wouldn’t see the pain in her eyes. He knew she wasn’t eating and he was about to say something to her when he heard her sigh. He forced himself not to look at her because he knew what he would see. She sighed again and shifted in her seat. He couldn’t make himself not hear her, and his body started to respond to her. When she sighed again, he could feel anger rising up. He was angry with himself, for doing this to her, and for feeling like he wanted her again when he knew it would lead to disaster.

“Georgie, stop it!” he said more forcefully than he’d intended.

“I can’t help it,” she said in a sad voice, and then burst into tears. He felt guilty for snapping at her. It wasn’t her fault she wanted him. He’d done this to her.

Then she said in a pleading tone, “Don’t you feel it too?” and it made him even more angry she was pushing him on having sex again.

He shouted, “I’m not having this conversation with you!” but he couldn’t look her in the eyes because he knew she was right.

She cried for a few minutes, hunched over her plate while he listened to her, feeling completely desolate. It was unbelievable he could've caused so much pain with one stupid fucking mistake.

When she stopped crying, she wiped her tears with her sleeve, and said quietly, “I’m sorry, Robert,” making him feel even more like crap.

He said quietly, “It’s alright, Georgie. I understand,” but his voice broke at the end, and it took everything he had to hold it together.

He wanted to go his room and cover himself in his blankets, but he wouldn’t do it to Georgie. He wouldn’t be a fucking coward on top of everything else. She started to eat a little and he did as well.