The Plastics

Life Is Plastic

 Life is Plastic and it's fantastic – Barbie

The big signboard in front of him had the above quote. It sat on top of the building that held the 78th Annual Plastic Conference.

Mr. PVC could not wait to meet the other plastics. To a human, he looked like an inanimate object- a pipe, but the plastics knew him for what he was- a rebel.

He walked inside the grand building that was in the heart of the biggest plastic city. The Great Pacific Garbage Patch. There was a long table at the centre of the hall. Mr. PVC, known as Pipey to close friends took his place at the table. He was the last one here. Each type of plastic had sent a representative from their family. Just as he was here to represent the PVC family members, Diapers was representing all Polypropylenes, his own friend Cuppy was representing the Styrofoams , Flexy ( a flexible container lid) was representing the LDPE family and Cola- a soda bottle was representing the PET family. There were other representatives whose family name Pipey could not remember.

President of the Plastics Committee Mr. HDPE – a juice container commenced the meeting. " It took a long time before humans realised our actual mission. To kill all life forms on Earth and finally dominate it! BUT WE DID NOT LET THE FACT THAT THEY KNEW ABOUT OUR MISSION STOP US!!!

Mr. HDPE continued on in a hushed tone "... and we will never stop our mission. Styrofoam update the newbies on our tactics for the destruction of the Earthlings."

"Ahm.. uh.. Yes Sir, Good Morning Everyone. We Plastics contribute to approximately 10% of discarded waste. Depending on our chemical composition some of us decompose faster than others.

"Cuppy we know all this. Just get to the point!" hollered Cola.

"I am repeating this for the newbies. Anyway, moving on. We are designed for destruction. Even the most stupid plastic with no knowledge can create great harm for humans. If we are on land we decompose and release toxins into the air that reduce its quality. You will see this especially in the landfills were humans are finding a problem with the level of methane that is produced. Even if humans bury us they are not safe because we release harmful chemicals into the soil and ruin its quality as well as the groundwater. Even dumping us into water bodies does not offer a solution. Nurdle can you please explain the impact on Marine Life to our representatives."

A tiny pea sized pellet spoke "I am Mr Nurdle Microplastic. While the impact on land is great over the past few years, I think it is our impact on the marine life that is our greatest success story. Studies have shown that 12.7 million tonnes of plastic waste are washed into the ocean every year!"

The plastics happy clapped at this information.

"There's more! 100,000 marine mammals are killed by us EVERY YEAR due to indigestion! Several sea animals are on the bring of extinction because of us. "

Pipey raised his hand "This all is nice but what effect does plastic have on humans. They are our greatest threat."

"Let me answer that Nurdle" said Diapers. "With all the toxins released by plastic and the fact that humans are surrounded by it only a fool would thing that it does not affect their health." Pipey grumbled under his breath "Sure they are not getting choked on plastic pieces and dying violent deaths but because of us their health has reduced significantly. The toxins of plastic that has ruined marine life in the oceans as well as soil quality on land have made their way onto their plates. Toxins have been linking to causing cancer, immune system problems and even birth defects.

Flexy added "Yeah, I read somewhere that a study found a link between pregnant woman's exposure to phthalates led to altered genital development in their baby boys."

"That's true. Humans said it themselves" said Diapers "Plus Toxins like BPA also mess with their hormones. The list of harms that it causes their lives is endless. "

"You would think that knowing this they would stop using us, but Man, humans are so stupid" uttered Flexy.

All the plastics laughed!

"I swear. How stupid do you have to be that 30% of the things that you make with one of the most durable substance in the world is SINGLE USE!!!"

Pipey added " They use Cling films instead of containers with lids. And forget that. At least Cling films have some purpose. What's up with plastic straws. They can legit drink EVERYTHING without straws!!They have even invented a plastic lid on the drink to go with it. Talk about useless inventions."

Styrofoam added " To me their funniest use of plastic will always be the fact that they decided to make plastic plants. I fail to see the point of using a substance that harms nature to create fake nature! They sure make our job easy for us!"

"HAHAHAHAHA"

"Humans are dumb. They are hurting themselves without much effort from us. They love us in spite of how much we hurt them. You could say it is a toxic relationship" said Cola

"Literally!"