All the Things I Never Said

Christmas Never Came.

I know that we broke up long before Christmas. A month before really. But Christmas was all wrong. I didn't want it to come this year. I didnt want to think about it.
I stood staring down at your stocking stuffer, and selfishly I wanted to give your family their stocking stuffers, and keep yours, to show you how I felt.

But I didnt.

I was good.

I gave you what i had bought. What I had put thought into. Do you even remember the significance of it? Probably not. But I gave it to you anyways.

And a part of me was hoping you'd acknowledge me after that. You had to, right?

Just a messaged "merry Christmas". That's all I wanted.

But of course you couldnt oblige.

I cried myself to sleep for 3 nights waiting.

You dick.

I knew everyone's gifts. I didnt want to decorate the tree or bake Christmas goodies.

I baked nuts and bolts without you. And I felt miserable the entire time.

I pretended to be happy for a week.

I hate that you couldnt even bother to wish me a measly little merry Christmas. But, I'm gonna wish you a happy new years. Cuz I still love you. And I still miss you.

But I will NEVER trust you with anything ever again.